Oh, to be 18 again...

I don’t get to do a lot of senior photos. I love this age group though. It’s a special time where these people are primed for their next phase of life - whatever that may be. They are fairly confident at this point…in as much as an 18 year old can be. And they are simply ready for their next steps.

This senior shoot I did the other day was special. I have known this family casually for about 15 or more years and met this young lady when she was just a tot. We haven’t crossed paths many times, but it’s been nice to see her grow - both in person and virtually. She’s as lovely as they come and exactly who I wish I was at her age: smart, interesting, athletic, and outgoing. Unencumbered by opinions and life at this point.

We all got to talking on the shoot (if you know me at ALL, the shoot is more chatting about life really than the shooting)…her mother and I lamenting about “Oh…to be 18 again” as one does.

I told them there would be things I would change. Of course. There are some things I would change about my life. Mostly I am happy with how things turned out.

I am not one to dole out advice to anyone - new moms, young people about to embark on a new chapter. Some of that you have to figure out on your own. But I somehow decided to say this one thing…in hopes to remind us all to stop the madness.

I turned to her and said “If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be this: Stop worrying about the externals and focus more on the internals. Worry less about the outside of you, the outside world, the things out of your control, and focus on your insides….your mental health, physical well being, your learning and knowledge, how YOUR body works and where YOU find peace.”

I have been fighting this battle my whole life. Worrying about others. Worrying about what I looked like. Trying to control shit that is LITERALLY out of my control completely.

I would listen to others less and trust myself more. This is my ship - my vessel - and it’s mine to control. Not anyone else’s. I am leaning into this now - in phase 2 of my life. It’s been a hard lesson to learn because I have knotted so many pieces up involving the outside world. So when I don’t have peace, It’s because I have a knot connected somewhere OTHER than with myself.

I hope for my sake I can take my own advice. I hope I find the peace this lovely human seems to have been born with…the calm, the confidence, the clarity.

Oh to be 18 again…

Pushing my Limits

I have been pushing my limits this year.

Not to toot my own horn…none of these things have been life altering boundaries or obstacles. But I have continued to do the things that I thought were beyond me. I overcome some pretty big hurdles that I kept me in the zone of “this can’t be done” and pushed me right over to the “well look at me go!” side of things.

Honestly, I am surprising myself.

Most of it has been professional….and a few personal hurdles have been scattered around there. What I find most jarring though all this growth is how stuck I am in so many old beliefs…those old stories that just don’t seem to want to quit nagging my brain.

Why can’t I see that they are just like the email I got about a button not working on a website or incorporating new techniques into video edits. All these things are just challenges…little and large puzzles to be solved.

I guess it all sums up to what we give power to. The things that we feel small around are often the things that make us run and hide like a little girl hearing overhearing her parents arguing or a dog looking for it’s safe place a thunderstorm.

I am working hard at unlocking the puzzle of power within my own self this year. Things I want to know are things like where and when we hand it over, why we feel powerless, what makes us quake in our boots, and mostly, how to grab it back. What I don’t want is to feel a toddler fighting to get back his little toy train. I want to stand with presence in the face of fear…a calm knowing that I can bravely reclaim myself, my space, and my bravery.

All so I can just simply reclaim my power.

The Plug for Family photos

The sweetest family that has trusted me for years to do their photos.

I was photographing this family over the past weekend for their annual Christmas Cards. I am always so grateful when I get to re-shoot a family year after year, watching them grow and change. It’s such a treat.

Rita, the mother (and owner of Rita’s Roots) turned to me at one point and said “It’s so important for us to do this every year…”

The comment stopped me dead in my tracks. OF COURSE IT IS! How did I miss this?

You see, I have lost sight of this very sentiment. I didn’t want to overwhelm people with my “sales talk” at the holidays or pressure anyone into doing something they didn’t want. I have spent years cultivating a business based on referrals and character, not gimmicks and sales. I didn’t want to put the sales calls out there. I was caught up in the parts that reflected me for too long instead of what this meant for my clients.

As a marketing professional, this is embarrassing.

You see, these sessions were never about me. They are about you…customers and clients. They are about your family. Your product. Your life. The only part of me I need to bring is my heart…and maybe my camera. The rest is about you. It’s my JOB to show up and reflect you.

So I will continue to make sure you know I am here…snapping these photos and ready for anything. I love what I do. And chances are I am going to love you and your people, too.

So, I will tell you now - TAKE THE PICTURES. Schedule the appointment. You are fine as you are. Just bring yourselves and I will take care of the rest.

The in-betweens

If you ask me, I think we all need to lean into those in-betweens a little more.

This shot was from a recent session with a sweet family I knew casually. I met this little angel (literally, she is the SWEETEST child I have EVER met) a few years back. She had a matter-of-factness about her. Calm, collected, and confident…at 2. I kid you not.

I post this because it’s a classic moment for me on a shoot. These moments are what I call the “in-betweens.” The moments you don’t ask for as a client, but give me a larger story to tell. Most people trust my judgment and let me do my thing. But sometimes I run across clients that have a specific “shot list” and want to stick to it. Sure, we get the family group shots and the portraits. But this time, as we were photographing a portrait of her, I noticed those MEGA lovely lashes and asked mom if I could take a few shots like this. She obliged and I was thrilled.

The problem with sticking to structure - both in photography AND in life - is that you could miss these moments…these in-between the planned parts where life flows a little more freely. If we aren’t careful and stay too structured, we won’t get to swim around in these deeper and delicious moments that I know now are the times we remember best.

The best times in my life with my son (who is now 20) were the in between moments - the times we spent taking road trips, sitting side by side in carpool line, or just randomly going to the beach on a Tuesday evening. They are the times I haven’t forgotten. Our conversations were honest and vulnerable. The moments were never staged or forced. It was a natural. He trusted me in those quiet, spaces - leaning in and letting go of the fact that neither one of us had an expectation. It was usually the times when we were alone, nothing was forced or scheduled like the rest of his teenage life. Just easeful moments letting us both just relax into each other.

I think I need to take more clues from these in-betweens - both as a human and as a photographer. I somewhere lost trust in this very easy moment and sometimes try to please too much instead of shooting and acting like I want to…not like what’s expected of me. I need to trust the flow more and lean into the moments I write blog posts in my PJs with half a cup of coffee in hand about a little girls eyelashes…trust the flow of what comes out because magic happens JUST EXACTLY when I let go of what something should be and let it become what it needs to be.

Some work lately

DoubleDay Aviation, Greenville, SC

Sometimes I forget that people follow me for professional purposes. I tend to use this blog as a personal diary of sorts.

Today, I have decided to share some of my more recent work. It’s nice to see the other side. I always had the idea that if people wanted to know what I shoot, they could look at my portfolio. The blog was my place to let the “in between” moments come to life. But life happens and portfolios don’t always get updated. So here we are.

Regardless, I am always grateful for clients that hire me - whether it’s for commercial shoots or personal reasons like a new baby, a wedding or even some family photos. I have wanted to take photos all my life…and somehow, that dream is happening.

Libby

Harper General Contractors, Greenville, SC

Rita’s Roots, Charleston, SC

DoubleDay Aviation, Greenville, SC

Helena Fox for South State Bank, Charleston, SC

Ty’s Roadside Coastal Kitchen, Mt. Pleasant, SC

Lee + John, Charleston SC

Harper General Contractors, Greenville, SC

Lock the door and throw away the key

Lately, I have really had the urge to padlock myself behind a heavy door and throw away the key. Just hibernate and regroup to come to terms with myself.

We are saturated with information every day. The world tells us a lot of things. What to think. What to wear. What to look like. How old to be. Who to love. What to eat. I feel as though we are all being bombarded with information - or more likely, MIS-information - about who we are in relation to the rest of the world. It’s exhausting.

So the thought of locking myself away in a cozy little place and letting myself be comfortable with who I am sounds really appealing to me these days. I want to get to know me and only me….sort of like I would do if I was dating myself.

I have lived a life as an unlocked door - open for passers by to come inside and get comfortable. I let anyone have the keys - men, women, friends, and family were all allowed access to me, allowed inside to come in and get comfy or a soft place to land. Don’t get me wrong… I don’t mind a little compromise, but I think what I did is to give away to much space in my heart.

It turns out that when you give people free access to your insides, they trash the joint like a band of twenty year old college renters with zero stakes in the game. They take that cushy pad they landed in and stain the carpets, leave water prints on the coffee table, break the appliances, and walk away with all the valuables, leaving you to clean it all up.

Trust me, I know this is a choice I made. A pleaser by nature, I wanted people to walk away feeling good from me. But what happened was I let them walk away with all my best stuff. They raided the china cabinet and left me the dirty dishes.

It’s time to heal. It’s time to regroup. It’s time to take precious care of what’s behind that door. I’ve got some serious repair work to do.

So maybe this us where I will sit - behind this big locked door. No access for the outside world. Just me and myself - getting reacquainted with each other.

Freedom

In the beginning of the year, I decided to explore something new creatively. I didn’t want it to be photography related in any way, take tons of time, or become a burden. So I started a 30 challenge to make a watercolor every day.

At the suggestion of a friend who did this for A YEAR, I stuck with a specific size and just started exploring from there. And you know what - I really sucked at first. Like…my first stuff was awful. But as I continued, I sort of watched it all unfold and stopped having expectations of myself.

This one simple act of showing up with nothing in my head and no expectations lead to some pretty awesome creativity. I experimented with paint, paper, brushes, and watched as the water took over every single image I created. Sometimes it was great. Other times, I ended up throwing it away. But each moment was a delightful experience in losing control of an outcome.

This dance became something I craved. I woke up each morning looking forward to seeing what happened with paint, water, paper, brushes and me. I got into a rhythm and found that the paper I thought I would hate, the brushes I didn’t like at first were the EXACT things I went back to over and over again.

Losing expectations and losing control was necessary at this point in my life right now. I had to lose some control to see how little it really matters. I had to give in creatively to something I knew literally NOTHING about other than the little palette of Crayola watercolors we distributed in art class when I was a teacher. We spend so much time having expectations on us and responsibility laid out for us. Sometimes letting something else have a little control - letting something be what it is without wanting to change it or manipulate it too much - is just where we need to be. It was like uncovering a path to somewhere new, somewhere that freedom took over and expectations were left behind for 15 minutes a day.

So do that thing – go take a dance lesson or hula hoop class. Sign up for that ceramics class you dream about. Learn to sew. Free yourself creatively a little. Then watch it all unfold with an open mind and an open heart.

Unapologetically me.

I love food. One of life’s greatest pleasures is eating delicious food. The fact that I get to sometimes photograph food and food stories are always a favorite part of my job.

It’s taken me a long time to be able to say “I love food” again. You see, I have never had a great relationship with food. From far too early an age, I was taught by almost all the people around me to be ashamed of myself. I was chubby growing up and struggled to be slim like my peers. I was frequently teased – both by people I both looked up to and people that were supposed to be taking precious care of me. After all, I was an easy target – as most people with visible differences are. I carried around this albatross for years until developing disordered eating patterns that lasted well into my 30s.

For the life of me I will never understand why people think it’s appropriate to discuss someone’s appearance, particularly that of a child. For me in particular, it lead to a lifetime of trauma I have to unravel. 50 years of comments on my appearance by people who are supposed to be responsible adults, doctors, authority figures in my life re knotted into a mess of me not feeling like I am enough. The work I have done on myself the past 10 years is like no other work I have done in my life.

We all carry the mistakes of others around with us. Comments made by others that were inappropriate at the time or that sliced us precisely in half at a vulnerable crossroads are a heavy burden to bear. They become a knotted mess that seems to never want to unravel.

We must be careful how we talk to one another. We must stop judging how someone else feels based on our experiences. It has to stop here. With each one of us.

Start seeing beyond yourself. Start loving people where they are. Start apologizing for your missteps…because we all have them. We all make them. Start with you. Start where you are today. And find the joy in each day.

I am gonna start with my next delicious plate of pasta. Unapologetically.

Connection

This week, I took some lifestyle photos for a place that is near and dear to me - The Cooper School. I have taught art here. I have photographed these kids for years. I have designed collateral for them. I even sent my child to school here when he was younger. To say I understand the workings of this place would be an understatement.

It’s always fun when people trust you to tell their story - no matter what it is. But there is something truly special about a place that lets you back again and again to capture them both as they are and as you know them.

I don’t take for granted the families that come to me over and over again to tell their family story. Or the businesses that hire me year in and year out to photograph their staff, their day to day activities. It’s a special thing to be trusted like that.

And it’s a special thing to fall in love with your clients. In my opinion, it’s not the technical aspect of the job that tells the story. It’s not the fancy camera or the high end lenses or lighting. it’s not even assistants or other people on the job. It’s the connection.

And it’s that connection always makes for the best photos.

Freedom

My schedule allows for LOTS of days like this right now. I am very lucky. And more free than I know.

I was recently having coffee with a friend. Sitting in the cooler breeze of the day, we sat talking about life and kids and future goals for ourselves.

She looked at me and asked me “If you could have anything you want in this world, what would it be?”

Without hesitation, I calmly and mindfully said “Freedom.” Which, in truth, caught me off guard. She looked at me curiously and said “That’s an interesting answer…what do you mean by ‘freedom’?”

I recoiled. I knew I couldn’t articulate what I felt very well, perhaps because I wasn’t sure what I even meant. On the outside, I have a lot of freedom. My days are flexible. My schedule is mine. I can work as hard as I choose. But there is a tradeoff to that kind of freedom. As a photographer, you are at the mercy of the seasons, weather, budgets…the list goes on. So you really aren’t totally in control of your schedule. I work weekends often - especially in the fall when happy families line up for polished photos for their Christmas cards. It’s a trade off that I embrace. I love showing people the best version of themselves. I love shooting the best of what something is - be it food, families or just life floating by.

In truth, the freedom I wanted to feel wasn’t any of this. And I need to be honest with myself. What I was hoping for the most when I calmly and evenly said “Freedom” was emotional freedom…and if I am being honest, that is something I don’t know that I have ever felt.

I want Freedom. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from worry. Freedom from being beholden to what others expectations of me are. Freedom from the petite prison I put myself in because I think I am not enough. And if I am being honest, that is where I am headed. It has nothing to do with anything else really.

When we continued our conversation, I said “I guess it sounds silly, because I feel very free. I have a great schedule. I have a good life and a lot to be grateful for. So many people are so much worse off than me. I guess financial freedom is what I am talking about.” It was an easy out and a quick cover for something I was so convicted about. At the time I wasn’t wholly sure of what I really meant. I thought on it a lot and let the answer come to me in truth.

So now I know the answer to my deepest desires. It’s not things. It’s . What I want most in this world is, indeed, Freedom. I want to let it all go and just be me. That’s what I meant. That’s what my heart wants.

Reconnecting

Photo taken at a meal during a recent yoga retreat I photographed for Beth Cosi at The Horse Shoe Farm

It’s been a strange year.

It’s been a year of isolation and of disconnection. It’s been a year of reconnection with ourselves and our families. And sorting through the muck and mire of life until we what is most important to us. For me, that has meant a lot of things.

Let me start by saying that the general timing of my life paired with the aftermath of a major pandemic has thrown us straight into transition mode around here. Plans are being formed for the next chapter for all of us that will both carry us away and bring us closer together in some respects. Our lives are so far flung that we are reaching out - both unconsciously and very consciously. We are trying to find our way back to each other in all the ways. We are trying desperately to hang on to each other. To connect.

When life starts pulling at you (money, sickness, kids, life, general stuff), suddenly you can see the holes you managed to sloppily repair in the first place. They are always the first to give way. So, as life pulled at those strings (and as it always will), I quickly saw the holes coming back open like a sweater that easily unravels at the pull of a dangling piece of yarn.

But I have made these repairs so often now that I know how to jump into action. For me, it’s self care: Meditation, mindfulness and movement. That’s all I need to check in and make sure I am okay, regroup and put myself on track.

Or so I thought.

This past weekend, I went to a yoga retreat nestled in the crook of the North Carolina mountains under the safe and regal watch of Grandfather mountain. We had a healthy dose of all the things you need to get on track. Yoga. Meditation. Amazing food. But I felt like there was more there. More that I had missed. It was there that I realized what I have been missing this year - connection and conversation. I needed these things like I needed water. I needed to connect with humans and again - both physically and emotionally. I needed to walk on the earth in my bare feet and feel the grass against my back. I wanted see myself reflected back in other humans, in nature, in the mirror I have so desperately hated to gaze into all these years. I wanted to see both my good and my not-so-good parts.

This year has made me see that the thing I have been missing in this puzzle has been connection. It’s been a crucial piece missing for so many of us, too. Connecting to ourselves and others. Family. Friends. Strangers! I need connection like air. I need to connect over food and music and everything we have in common - not what we DON’T have in common (I’m looking at you politics!)

So each day now as I face a lot of transition and the turmoil of life, I try hard to remember to do the important stuff. I take care of me first. But I also pick up the phone and call someone. I hug my family. I walk in the grass and sit in the warm sunshine. I smile at people in the car next to me. I pet my dogs. And know that these repairs might just be a little more substantial this time.

Rejects

I just found this photo in a folder labeled “REJECTS.” There is nothing inherently wrong with the photo. It’s clear, balanced, and in focus. The content is pretty and good. Maybe a little color balance would be good, but all in all a good photo.

Perhaps it wasn’t exactly what the client was looking for. Maybe there was a better choice in this particular set. It feels like a good photograph in general. But why was it labeled a “REJECT?”

It got me to thinking…do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so quick to dismiss something because it’s not perfect? So many photos don’t see the light of day because they weren’t JUST RIGHT. But this photo seemed pretty good.

Most days my hair looks fine - not great. My face good enough - not perfect. But that’s life. And what actually is perfect? What is great? Perfection, greatness….it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

So today, I give myself permission to be okay…fine…good enough. And I promise to stop putting myself in the REJECT pile. Because beauty is always seen differently by each one of us.

Blog love

I love food photography almost as much as I love cooking. And I worked tirelessly and forever to develop my craft. The way I did it was to create a food blog, Plate South, where I test recipes and develop new ways of eating classic comforting foods found as close to home as I can get them. That means working with farmers, and even getting some consulting done on my very own little back garden.

This photo was taken in my development on Sausage + Kale soup - a hearty and comforting winter meal for sure. Served up with some crusty bread and a glass of red wine makes for the coziest winter night.

Now all you need is a little Netflix binge and you are ready to go.

Go check out my blog if you love all things food and restaurants in the south!

Libby

Current work

I don’t share tons of current work. It’s my feeling that if you want to see what I am up to, you will just follow along on social media or just look at my portfolio. I am not great at the sharing/shameless self promotion part.

But I have been doing some more recent commercial food photography work that has been pretty fun. This client hired me initially because they really wanted their food accurately represented by not using stock photos for their extremely delicious bistro located inside of a gas station.

They could have easily used stock and not bothered to call me. They could have not cared about standing out. But their work is impressive and they care about every detail of their business. And it shows in everything we’ve done. Its been a pleasure shooting with them.

This shot was born after multiple shoots. We weren’t quite getting the shot…not by the fault of anyone. Just wasn’t emerging quite how they were hoping for. We finally landed here…on one of my favorite food styling photos of all time.

Fresh foods. Fun shot. And literally done on a floor. It doesn’t have to be hard. It just has to be collaborative and creative.

What fun things are you doing with your work?

Mindberries

Recently I was on a shoot with a small family. The little boys were collecting items along the way and putting them in their pockets - treasures only little boys seem to value. We came across a bush full of wild berries and I said “you know not to eat those, right?” They looked at me like I was telling them something they were well aware of and said “uhhhh…of course.”

But it made me think…how do we know things are bad for us? Is it because it’s been drilled into us? In the case of poison berries, this is most likely the case. But what about those invisible things? The toxic thoughts? The self destructive patterns? How do you stop those things from seeping into your brain and poisoning you little by little?

I guess the answer is that you have to know how to identify them first. Sometimes we don’t know something is toxic until we feel it’s adverse effects. And even then, it’s often we need to be told. Those thoughts of unworthiness that creep in become such a part of us that after time, they almost feel comfortable. You don’t know what to do without them.

But when you are gently reminded, “Hey…it’s okay…you can put that thought down here. It’s not doing you any good anymore,” it helps bring awareness to the bad things. It’s nice to have help here, but sometimes you have to do the hard work on your own, too.

Distance helps too. Putting the thoughts that don’t serve you down, walking away from toxic energy and people, and even just ignoring it all can help. It’s hard to do because they look so enticing. But resisting temptations - no matter how bad they are for us - is always where the hard work is, right?

It’s taken me 50 years to identify some of those poison mindberries…the ones that look tempting to eat but are so bad for you. “I should look different…I’m in the way…I’m too much…I’m not enough…” The list goes on. Sometimes I see them on the path, juicy and enticing in their varied colors. Often I am tempted to eat them…like a good snack when I need it most . All it takes is a gentle reminder that they are not serving me in any way…and that reminder can come from me or someone I trust.

It’s only then that I can keep walking along that beautiful path and admire the rest of the things life has in store and leave those berries on the bush that they belong on.

The Sweet Stuff

I am digging into the sweet stuff…searching for the delicious parts right now. Those bitter parts, the salty bites, the ones that are too hot or too cold or not quite right will all come soon enough. But while I am here in the middle of the sweet spot, I will celebrate and sink in.

Because life is too delicious to pass this part by.

2019

Here we are…2020. And I am just now getting around to reflecting on the past year.

Last year was BIG…capital B-I-G. I mean that in so many ways, too. Not just professionally speaking.

As many years go, I felt a tremendous amount of growth, both personally and professionally. My life seems to be taking shape into something I had always hoped for in so many ways. WHOOP WHOOP! I have been a full time, self-employed photographer and designer FOR 18 YEARS NOW! That’s nothing to sneeze at.

This year felt more focused and found some clarity along the way. I nailed down some amazing jobs…and experienced some awesome work and new client relationships. It was a year I worked hard for things I wanted desperately and a year I consciously stepped away from some experiences that weren’t serving me. Lessons were learned. And life went on.

So here is a sprinkling of what went down this past year. A little of everything - food and families, weddings and wine events, and a lot of hard work and growth.

Here’s to gratitude for amazing endings and fresh new beginnings, to living and learning, and to loving what you do. Happy New Year everyone!

82 Queen

Charleston Wine + Food Festival

Charleston Shop Curator @ Freshfields Village

Bjork Family shoot

Plate South - Strata

Mr. + Mrs. Wilson

Skirt Charleston

Skirt Charleston - Giving Thanks.

The Buencaminos for Vineyard Vines

Lyn Tally

The Barbers

Porter-Gaud Magazine

Giving Thanks article for Skirt.

Poe Family Shoot

Restaurant Tu

Tu - Interior shot

Plate South - Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

Walker Family shoot

Lewis Barbecue for Charleston Magazine

Women in Construction for Skirt Magazine.

Women and Bruce @ The Charleston Music Hall

Magical shoots

Recently someone commented to me about my photos being so spontaneous. Then they asked “how do you get people to DO that?”

Honestly, the answer for me has always been, “I don’t!”

I don’t work on posing clients. I never have. What I do work on is building relationships with my client to put them at ease. That means taking the time to listen to them. That means not watching the clock. That means chatting and playing more than I shoot.

These people invest money in a shoot that will provide memories forever. FOR.E.VER. So, it’s important to me that they look like their authentic selves in the shoot. Happy, relaxed, and joyful.

Wouldn’t it be great if EVERY business, EVERY relationship we approached has this mentality. Wouldn’t it be great if your dentist or accountant was concerned about how you feel in such a stressful situation. I know I would approach things differently if I sat down at my accountants office and she asked how my family was, what was new, or what I planned to do in the coming year. It builds trust. It puts us at ease.

And when people are at ease with me… Well, that’s when the magic happens.

Falling in Love with You.

“Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help
Falling in love with you.”

Congratulations to Maggie and Connor. What a magical couple. What a magical day.

The pursuit of joy.

Do you remember what it was like to play or be silly? When was the last time you laughed so hard your cheeks hurt? Do you remember the feeling of reckless abandon…driving with your head out the window or skipping along a path or falling hopelessly in love with someone?

Somewhere along the way, somehow, I feel like we have collectively lost our sense of joy.

Maybe it’s the heaviness of the news right now. Or maybe it’s adulthood pulling at you to responsibly face everything…the laundry, the bills, the carpooling, the work, the shopping, the taxes. Or maybe we have been spending so much time in our heads, we have forgotten how to connect with how we feel in our bodies.

After so many years of being corrected, punished, and told how to act right, the world gives us no time for pleasure (no wonder drug use, prescription medicine and alcoholism are at an all time high.) We grow up being told to stand in line, take your turn, smile petty for the photo. We are told to suffer through it all or suffer the consequences. We are put into tiny boxes, expectations swirling around us like vultures ready to feast on the dying carcass of joy trailing behind us. After all, you can’t pay the bills having fun.

Or can you?

Could you – just for a moment – decide that life (and even work) was meant to be fun? Could you assume that there is joy within it all? Wouldn’t success come more readily while we are finding things we enjoy?

Pleasure, or joy, can come in many ways…going for a nourishing walk through the woods, finding an amazing concert of your favorite band, road tripping to a fun, new town with your favorite friends, or even in your daily work.

When I am photographing a family, or food, or whatever I am doing, I feel joy. But I can get caught up in the seriousness of it all with things like “Am I good enough at my job?” or “When are they going to pay me for this?” can get in the way of WHY I am doing this. It puts joy in a choke hold and suffocates it. If those questions creep in, I always see it in my work.

Finding the fun in the everyday isn’t only a recommendation anymore, it’s a requirement - like breath and water. We need joy, but it seems like we have lost it inside of adulting. When the heaviness creeps in and gets in the way of all that we are doing, it zaps energy and steals the joy we have. When I approach life with the “What am I gonna get out of this” mentality or “what is the (so-called) cost of this,” joy always takes a back seat. It’s an immediate buzz kill. If I worried about the price of the tickets to the concert we went to this week, I would never have been able to lean into the experience. I would never have felt that deep joy.

Much like anything, joy takes practice. It’s a shedding of layers of guilt and years of unraveling what messages we got around being happy - if we deserve it, if we are worthy enough for it’s company. But like everything, you have to keep trying.

But your happiness - your pursuit of of joy - has ripple effects. Your joy affects everyone you come in touch with and everyone around you. And, my friend, that little practice has the power to change the our whole world.

So buy that ticket. Invite those friends over. Pursue that new career. Jump off the diving board into the deep end and swim around in that joy. You’ll be so happy you did.