The Plug for Family photos

The sweetest family that has trusted me for years to do their photos.

I was photographing this family over the past weekend for their annual Christmas Cards. I am always so grateful when I get to re-shoot a family year after year, watching them grow and change. It’s such a treat.

Rita, the mother (and owner of Rita’s Roots) turned to me at one point and said “It’s so important for us to do this every year…”

The comment stopped me dead in my tracks. OF COURSE IT IS! How did I miss this?

You see, I have lost sight of this very sentiment. I didn’t want to overwhelm people with my “sales talk” at the holidays or pressure anyone into doing something they didn’t want. I have spent years cultivating a business based on referrals and character, not gimmicks and sales. I didn’t want to put the sales calls out there. I was caught up in the parts that reflected me for too long instead of what this meant for my clients.

As a marketing professional, this is embarrassing.

You see, these sessions were never about me. They are about you…customers and clients. They are about your family. Your product. Your life. The only part of me I need to bring is my heart…and maybe my camera. The rest is about you. It’s my JOB to show up and reflect you.

So I will continue to make sure you know I am here…snapping these photos and ready for anything. I love what I do. And chances are I am going to love you and your people, too.

So, I will tell you now - TAKE THE PICTURES. Schedule the appointment. You are fine as you are. Just bring yourselves and I will take care of the rest.

The in-betweens

If you ask me, I think we all need to lean into those in-betweens a little more.

This shot was from a recent session with a sweet family I knew casually. I met this little angel (literally, she is the SWEETEST child I have EVER met) a few years back. She had a matter-of-factness about her. Calm, collected, and confident…at 2. I kid you not.

I post this because it’s a classic moment for me on a shoot. These moments are what I call the “in-betweens.” The moments you don’t ask for as a client, but give me a larger story to tell. Most people trust my judgment and let me do my thing. But sometimes I run across clients that have a specific “shot list” and want to stick to it. Sure, we get the family group shots and the portraits. But this time, as we were photographing a portrait of her, I noticed those MEGA lovely lashes and asked mom if I could take a few shots like this. She obliged and I was thrilled.

The problem with sticking to structure - both in photography AND in life - is that you could miss these moments…these in-between the planned parts where life flows a little more freely. If we aren’t careful and stay too structured, we won’t get to swim around in these deeper and delicious moments that I know now are the times we remember best.

The best times in my life with my son (who is now 20) were the in between moments - the times we spent taking road trips, sitting side by side in carpool line, or just randomly going to the beach on a Tuesday evening. They are the times I haven’t forgotten. Our conversations were honest and vulnerable. The moments were never staged or forced. It was a natural. He trusted me in those quiet, spaces - leaning in and letting go of the fact that neither one of us had an expectation. It was usually the times when we were alone, nothing was forced or scheduled like the rest of his teenage life. Just easeful moments letting us both just relax into each other.

I think I need to take more clues from these in-betweens - both as a human and as a photographer. I somewhere lost trust in this very easy moment and sometimes try to please too much instead of shooting and acting like I want to…not like what’s expected of me. I need to trust the flow more and lean into the moments I write blog posts in my PJs with half a cup of coffee in hand about a little girls eyelashes…trust the flow of what comes out because magic happens JUST EXACTLY when I let go of what something should be and let it become what it needs to be.

Magical shoots

Recently someone commented to me about my photos being so spontaneous. Then they asked “how do you get people to DO that?”

Honestly, the answer for me has always been, “I don’t!”

I don’t work on posing clients. I never have. What I do work on is building relationships with my client to put them at ease. That means taking the time to listen to them. That means not watching the clock. That means chatting and playing more than I shoot.

These people invest money in a shoot that will provide memories forever. FOR.E.VER. So, it’s important to me that they look like their authentic selves in the shoot. Happy, relaxed, and joyful.

Wouldn’t it be great if EVERY business, EVERY relationship we approached has this mentality. Wouldn’t it be great if your dentist or accountant was concerned about how you feel in such a stressful situation. I know I would approach things differently if I sat down at my accountants office and she asked how my family was, what was new, or what I planned to do in the coming year. It builds trust. It puts us at ease.

And when people are at ease with me… Well, that’s when the magic happens.