This cat lies here. All Day. Every day. Just like this. On his back. Belly up. Not a care in the world.
They say that animals don’t do this unless they feel completely safe in their surroundings.
This makes me pause each time I see him do this.
To feel this safe…in my environment….in my skin.
Let me be clear….. I am not in any fear or danger and I am not in harm’s way. But I have been learning more about the human body. How we carry ourselves is directly correlated with how we feel in our bones and vice versa. I am learning about how interconnected systems are - both internally and externally. And how much affects us as we move through this world.
I was at a chiropractics appointment the other day - not a crack and snap, but and energetic movement appointment. The practitioner - who I have never met before - leaned in and whispered “take up space here, Libby. Breathe big. Be you.”
I started crying into my pillow, hoping nobody saw me.
He had no idea that this is the very thing I have been working on these past 10 years. He didn’t know that I am trying to believe, day by day, that I am worthy of belonging here on this planet. That I have gifts to give…perhaps even more than I know about. He didn’t know me. But he knew.
Maybe we are all trying to be as shameless as my cat, Toby. He doesn’t care how big his belly is. He isn’t bothered by how many naps he takes each day or what he steals off the counter to snack on when we aren’t looking. He just exists in ALLLLL his glory.
So I am inviting myself to softness. I am training myself to stop gripping and holding and fighting. I am learning to stop sucking in my belly because it’s gotten a little rounder this winter. I am practicing letting go while I stop holding on to fear and worry.
Because it all really works out in the end. You just have to believe it will.