Weather the storm

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rainy-days

We have had some nasty weather lately. Ice. Sleet. Rain. Cold. Even I am a little tired of the dreary days that have dragged on through the past few weeks.

The grey days make it hard to find your groove. Motivation comes slowly on days like these. I look for comfort at every corner - soft clothes and warm meals and and hot drinks. But there are days when you just need to hunker down and weather it all by pressing on. And then there are days when you need to say - enough is enough...I'm retreating to my corner.

Right now, I feel like retreating. But I know I can't. I know I have to press through. Because spring is just around the corner. And brighter days are ahead.

So for now, I will stand facing it all. For now, I will weather the storm ahead. For now, I will stand strong and carry on.

Settling in.

Settling into me.

Settling into me.

Recently I stumbled across this article on Bill Murray. The article is titled Seven Steps to Living a Life like Bill Murray. Admittedly, I was having a disrupted and distracted morning. Not truly engaged, I skimmed the article until the end where I was abruptly stopped at his response to the question: "What's it like being you?" Here is his answer.

I think if I’m gonna answer that question, because it is a hard question, I’d like to suggest that we all answer that question right now, while I’m talking. I’ll continue. Believe me, I won’t shut up. I have a microphone. But let’s all ask ourselves that question right now. What does it feel like to be you? What does it feel like to be you? Yeah. It feels good to be you, doesn’t it? It feels good, because there’s one thing that you are — you’re the only one that’s you, right?. So you’re the only one that’s you, and we get confused sometimes — or I do, I think everyone does — you try to compete. You think, Dammit, someone else is trying to be me. Someone else is trying to be me. But I don’t have to armor myself against those people; I don’t have to armor myself against that idea if I can really just relax and feel content in this way and this regard. If I can just feel, just think now: How much do you weigh? This is a thing I like to do with myself when I get lost and I get feeling funny. How much do you weigh? Think about how much each person here weighs and try to feel that weight in your seat right now, in your bottom right now. Parts in your feet and parts in your bum. Just try to feel your own weight, in your own seat, in your own feet. Okay? So if you can feel that weight in your body, if you can come back into the most personal identification, a very personal identification, which is: I am. This is me now. Here I am, right now. This is me now. Then you don’t feel like you have to leave, and be over there, or look over there. You don’t feel like you have to rush off and be somewhere. There’s just a wonderful sense of well-being that begins to circulate up and down, from your top to your bottom. Up and down from your top to your spine. And you feel something that makes you almost want to smile, that makes you want to feel good, that makes you want to feel like you could embrace yourself.

So what’s it like to be me? You can ask yourself, What’s it like to be me? You know, the only way we’ll ever know what it’s like to be you is if you work your best at being you as often as you can, and keep reminding yourself: That’s where home is.

I love this. Something I work on every day of my life is being present in myself.

Being in ourselves is sometimes the hardest part of being at all. Sitting in our bodies with our silent selves is when so much can come up. The inadequate feelings. The fear. The doubt. The pain of so many things and years past. I love this notion of really silencing that stuff, taking up your space, and just feeling where and who you are. Settling in to you.

And right there is where you find you are enough.

Planning

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seeds

On the coldest days of February, my favorite thing to do is plan a little for the warm sunshine and longer days of summer. Plan on which bed the tomatoes will reside and where the squash will (hopefully) flourish. Plan on what to rotate when. Mostly, I like to plan what will nourish me most and what will sustain me through those long, hot days of summer.

Courage

courage

One of my very best friends in the world gave this gentle reminder to me last time I saw her a few months ago. Just like it was nothing, she looked at me and said - "Here is a little courage for you." It was like she knew something - without knowing. We all need that friend, don't we? Every time Robbin gives me something, it resonates with meaning and love and relevance in my life. It is always symbolic. It always hits a note in my soul. And it's always just what I need in the moment I receive it.

I was traveling a lot when I saw Robbin last. On the road for photoshoots and minisessions and packing a lot into my life at that time....trying to make sense of a lot of things. She handed me a little courage. I keep the courage in my car. Every time I get in the car, it's there as a reminder -  to face the world with courage and love.

You see, courage and love squash fear and doubt. They slam the door in their faces. They want no part of them. They know only hope and "yes.". They don't know the word "No" or worry. They simply carry on - sure of what they are. And sure of what they can overcome.

So every day, I remember these 2 elements in my life - Courage. And Love. It's what my work is about.  It's really what my life is about. It's what I try to bring with me at every moment...in every breath. Some days I succeed. And some - well, not so much. But I always try. I always give it my all.

It's nice to have this powerful reminder every day from someone I love and respect so much. She knows me in more ways than I can admit here on my little blog. Her voice in my life everyday is strong. Her messages always resonate with me. And her love and courage - the way she has faced fear and doubt - are one of my biggest inspirations. 

 

Baby Feet

baby-feet

I am a Sucker for baby feet. Sucker...with a capital S. And before those babies learn to walk... I mean - they are like little cylinders. So cute and still so squishy.

I had a shoot today with some of my new most favorite people - the Steevers. This shoot was their baby gift. Somehow, I feel like I am the one who got the gift.  Cutest.Family.Ever.

Clarity

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cooper-river-bridge

I have taken this photo before. I have taken it at sunrise and at sunset. I have photographed it in rain and fog and clear and crisp sunny days - just like today.

But today felt different. I saw it. Clearly. Nothing distracting from the view. Just simple lines against a lovely blue & green backdrop.

Today, it was like I saw it for the first time all over again. Grand. Clear. Perfect. Just like it is. But most importantly, just like I saw it today. Nothing in the way. Nothing changing the view.

Clear as it ever was.

Small Investments

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chicke salad

Today is busy. Full of edits and shoot prep and future plans. I seem to run out of time so easily these days. There are only so many hours in the day to pack in all the important things.

I am trying not to run out of time for myself these days. I am really good at putting everything in front of my own needs. I could go pro. But even on my busiest days, I try to pause for a little self care. It's like making a tiny investment in a long term fund that grows without you watching it. Slowly, over time, it all becomes a habit and before you know it, you have the resources to fall back on and get you through those challenges life brings.

So today's theme is pausing in the moment for some care. This is part of it...a light lunch. Lean. Homemade. And healthy. A little fresh air and sunshine.

And a little reminder that I am worth it.

El Gato Diablo

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fezzie the cat

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen this video I posted about my life in hell recently. Only, in my world this happens at 2:19 AM...when I am (conveniently) sound asleep. And for no real reason but that she needs something that I haven't figured out. What's worse...I am wide awake for another 2 hours - minimum. Let's just say mornings here have been a little hard on me.

Don't let this face fool you. On the outside she's all fuzzy and cute. But on the inside, the devil lives there. Yes. I am sure of it. And as patient as I am with most animals, 2:19 AM is NOT a wake up time for food or water or whatever else you need to communicate that I am not giving you.

Someone please send her the memo.

Before the frost

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carrots

It's time to harvest and gather. Time to reap what we sow. It's time to duck from the hardships and collect what we need. Preparing for the frosts is never easy. But we do what we can and learn a little more every time.

It's time to hunker down and prepare for the hard freeze ahead. It's time to do the hard work. The real work. The dirty work.

 

Take care.

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Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Take care of yourself. Kindly and with purpose. Gently over breakfast, or fiercely over your morning sweat. Take time for rest. Spend moments on yourself. Eat. Sleep. Play. Work. Find some spiritual center - in God, or on the beach, or a under a leaf. Find a place that you feel really small. Find a place that you feel really big. They are both really important to finding the balance we all strive for.

Just take the time to take the care of you that you deserve. You are worth it.

Love.

I have never really been much into Valentine's Day. It never really felt authentic. It just seemed to me like another staged celebration of something that should be a little more...real. Gestures of love and thoughtfulness should happen all the time - not just because someone tells you to do it. Maybe I am unrealistic in my expectations of love (shocker), but I want love to be a little more from the heart. Not so much from the obligation of it all. Yes... I buy little chocolate heart candies for my boy. And I admit it...I did make brownies shaped in little hearts last night for a fun treat today, but mostly, I don't celebrate this day in all it's forced glory.

So today, when this from-the-heart Valentine gift showed up on my porch, I melted a little. I wasn't expecting to have something so sweet and thoughtful happen today. I wasn't imagining that love would knock me off my feet today. But it has. And now, I am a Valentine's Day believer.

Love is anywhere if you really stop and look for it. True, authentic, thoughtful love is right in front of you. It's in the simple gesture of holding a door open or someone doing the the dishes for you after a long day. It's in a warm and welcome hug or a listening ear. It doesn't always come packaged with a red ribbon. It's not always hiding inside a box of chocolates. But it's there. You just have to want to see it.

Happy Valentine's Day friends. May all your days be filled with authentic love. And mostly, may you be able to see it.

Everything nice.

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baby_G.jpg

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

This day was awesome. Not only did I get to photograph this beauty, but I got to photograph and spend time with her mother in their TO.DIE.FOR house that she and her awesomely handy and talented husband built. While I wasn't photographing her and her daily handing out life with Goldie, we were working on getting her some portraits to promote herself a little more as the incredible artist she deserves to be recognized as. I really can't wait until the world uncovers what a gem we are hiding in her art and creative mind.

But this...this little dose of sweetness is what I came for. Kisses. And smiles. And blue eyes you could swim around in for days. I just really don't know how they get anything done.

 

Work

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school_days.jpg

Some days, my "work" really feels and looks nothing at all like work.

When I am in the middle of a shoot, I really don't think of anything else but what I am doing. I am thinking of light and emotions and what the image is saying and conveying. I think about if the image is right or if something needs to be tweaked. But never am I thinking about bills or dinner or my next job or how late I am. I am always right there, in the moment.

This outtake is from my shoot yesterday. This week, I was taken all over the state shooting for a long time client who I really love working with. And this little school was one of the businesses I got to shoot yesterday. This is "work."

These faces. I mean...come on!

I am the luckiest girl alive to call this job "work."

Auntie Libby

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BabyV

Besides being a mother, one of my favorite things in the world is to be an Auntie. It's full of all kinds of perks. You get to play with them without any of the hardships of parenting. There is really no discipline or punishing. There are no bedtimes to stress about or mealtimes to angst over. It's just play. Fun. Adventure. Love.

This week, I got to play Auntie for a few short and precious hours. We threw balls and colored. We played Bubble Guppies and read books. We even sang and danced (well, not so much me with the singing and the dancing. But this one sure put on a show!) It's always an adventure being the Auntie.

I also got to meet this cutie pie and be a totally different kind of Auntie...more like squishy pillow Auntie.

These newborns get me every time. The baby smells and the sounds and the gummy smiles. I am all a melted puddle of love after holding a newborn. I always thought it was a such a treat having a little one around of my own - albeit too brief.

For now, though, I will love being the Auntie. The play and fun and treats all make for feeling a little bit like Mary Poppins in the life of your friends and family. I know when momma needs help and rest. But I also know when it's time to step down and let momma do the work she needs to do.

Because nothing - and I really mean NOTHING - can replace your mom in this world.