Clarity

I have taken this photo before. I have taken it at sunrise and at sunset. I have photographed it in rain and fog and clear and crisp sunny days - just like today.

But today felt different. I saw it. Clearly. Nothing distracting from the view. Just simple lines against a lovely blue & green backdrop.

Today, it was like I saw it for the first time all over again. Grand. Clear. Perfect. Just like it is. But most importantly, just like I saw it today. Nothing in the way. Nothing changing the view.

Clear as it ever was.

Small Investments

Today is busy. Full of edits and shoot prep and future plans. I seem to run out of time so easily these days. There are only so many hours in the day to pack in all the important things.

I am trying not to run out of time for myself these days. I am really good at putting everything in front of my own needs. I could go pro. But even on my busiest days, I try to pause for a little self care. It's like making a tiny investment in a long term fund that grows without you watching it. Slowly, over time, it all becomes a habit and before you know it, you have the resources to fall back on and get you through those challenges life brings.

So today's theme is pausing in the moment for some care. This is part of it...a light lunch. Lean. Homemade. And healthy. A little fresh air and sunshine.

And a little reminder that I am worth it.

El Gato Diablo

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen this video I posted about my life in hell recently. Only, in my world this happens at 2:19 AM...when I am (conveniently) sound asleep. And for no real reason but that she needs something that I haven't figured out. What's worse...I am wide awake for another 2 hours - minimum. Let's just say mornings here have been a little hard on me.

Don't let this face fool you. On the outside she's all fuzzy and cute. But on the inside, the devil lives there. Yes. I am sure of it. And as patient as I am with most animals, 2:19 AM is NOT a wake up time for food or water or whatever else you need to communicate that I am not giving you.

Someone please send her the memo.

Before the frost

It's time to harvest and gather. Time to reap what we sow. It's time to duck from the hardships and collect what we need. Preparing for the frosts is never easy. But we do what we can and learn a little more every time.

It's time to hunker down and prepare for the hard freeze ahead. It's time to do the hard work. The real work. The dirty work.

Take care.

Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Take care of yourself. Kindly and with purpose. Gently over breakfast, or fiercely over your morning sweat. Take time for rest. Spend moments on yourself. Eat. Sleep. Play. Work. Find some spiritual center - in God, or on the beach, or a under a leaf. Find a place that you feel really small. Find a place that you feel really big. They are both really important to finding the balance we all strive for.

Just take the time to take the care of you that you deserve. You are worth it.

Love.

I have never really been much into Valentine's Day. It never really felt authentic. It just seemed to me like another staged celebration of something that should be a little more...real. Gestures of love and thoughtfulness should happen all the time - not just because someone tells you to do it. Maybe I am unrealistic in my expectations of love (shocker), but I want love to be a little more from the heart. Not so much from the obligation of it all. Yes... I buy little chocolate heart candies for my boy. And I admit it...I did make brownies shaped in little hearts last night for a fun treat today, but mostly, I don't celebrate this day in all it's forced glory.

So today, when this from-the-heart Valentine gift showed up on my porch, I melted a little. I wasn't expecting to have something so sweet and thoughtful happen today. I wasn't imagining that love would knock me off my feet today. But it has. And now, I am a Valentine's Day believer.

Love is anywhere if you really stop and look for it. True, authentic, thoughtful love is right in front of you. It's in the simple gesture of holding a door open or someone doing the the dishes for you after a long day. It's in a warm and welcome hug or a listening ear. It doesn't always come packaged with a red ribbon. It's not always hiding inside a box of chocolates. But it's there. You just have to want to see it.

Happy Valentine's Day friends. May all your days be filled with authentic love. And mostly, may you be able to see it.

Everything nice.

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

This day was awesome. Not only did I get to photograph this beauty, but I got to photograph and spend time with her mother in their TO.DIE.FOR house that she and her awesomely handy and talented husband built. While I wasn't photographing her and her daily handing out life with Goldie, we were working on getting her some portraits to promote herself a little more as the incredible artist she deserves to be recognized as. I really can't wait until the world uncovers what a gem we are hiding in her art and creative mind.

But this...this little dose of sweetness is what I came for. Kisses. And smiles. And blue eyes you could swim around in for days. I just really don't know how they get anything done.

Happy Feet.

Sunshine. Blue skies. And happy little baby feet.  I couldn't ask for a better day if I tried!

Home

I am back home today. Back in the comforts of yoga pants and puppy dogs and some gentle sunshine though my windows.

As much as I love the adventures that travel always brings, I am always happy to come back home.

Work

Some days, my "work" really feels and looks nothing at all like work.

When I am in the middle of a shoot, I really don't think of anything else but what I am doing. I am thinking of light and emotions and what the image is saying and conveying. I think about if the image is right or if something needs to be tweaked. But never am I thinking about bills or dinner or my next job or how late I am. I am always right there, in the moment.

This outtake is from my shoot yesterday. This week, I was taken all over the state shooting for a long time client who I really love working with. And this little school was one of the businesses I got to shoot yesterday. This is "work."

These faces. I mean...come on!

I am the luckiest girl alive to call this job "work."

Auntie Libby

Besides being a mother, one of my favorite things in the world is to be an Auntie. It's full of all kinds of perks. You get to play with them without any of the hardships of parenting. There is really no discipline or punishing. There are no bedtimes to stress about or mealtimes to angst over. It's just play. Fun. Adventure. Love.

This week, I got to play Auntie for a few short and precious hours. We threw balls and colored. We played Bubble Guppies and read books. We even sang and danced (well, not so much me with the singing and the dancing. But this one sure put on a show!) It's always an adventure being the Auntie.

I also got to meet this cutie pie and be a totally different kind of Auntie...more like squishy pillow Auntie.

These newborns get me every time. The baby smells and the sounds and the gummy smiles. I am all a melted puddle of love after holding a newborn. I always thought it was a such a treat having a little one around of my own - albeit too brief.

For now, though, I will love being the Auntie. The play and fun and treats all make for feeling a little bit like Mary Poppins in the life of your friends and family. I know when momma needs help and rest. But I also know when it's time to step down and let momma do the work she needs to do.

Because nothing - and I really mean NOTHING - can replace your mom in this world.

The shoe pile

The show pile on the weekends to me represent a happy, full house with loads of play and laughter and imagination. Happy weekend!

My new intern.

It's a busy day around here. Can't you tell?

Seriously though, after my week with the intern at home, I have a lot of catching up to do - mainly, getting ready for my trip early this week for a 2 day shoot. I love a little travel. It shakes up the monotony of routine. And lucky for me, I have my new trusty intern to help with all my busy preparations.

I recently have come to realize how many days of my life are really not that routine after all. Some days, I am on an all day shoot. Other days, I can sit in yoga pants and edit all day. Sometimes I work Saturdays, and other times I take a whole Tuesday off for personal attention. And because of this back and forth, up and down, push and pull, I have actually come to realize how much I  love and expect a little disharmony in my life. When it's regular and predictable, I actually get a little bored

So Bella and I will experiment with lights today...on this working Saturday (Clearly it's a lot of work being a model). And we will pack all my gear and bags. And shop for snacks. And charge batteries. And do all the behind the scene things that happen when you have to travel for shoots so you can be prepared and on it. Thank goodness for good company while I work!

(Just a note, I will take 2 days off of the blog while I travel, but I'll be photo-ing and posting all my antics when I return.)

Sunset

"Clouds come floating into my life - no longer to carry rain or usher storm - but to add color to my sunset sky." R.Tagore

I have been on the slippery slope of sickness today - sliding down it's icy face with no hope. Despite being on a rapid decline downward, I watched the sunset from my dining room this evening and thought about good things - love and hope and family and sunsets. And I somehow let the sun take away all the sickness and pain and bad thoughts away - slipping into the darkness never to be seen again.

Thank you Sun. Until we meet again...

Behind the scenes

Today was filled with lots and lots of busy work. There was editing and emails (oh so many emails). And then I had a product shot to set up in my house. It is a little known fact, but I really love to do these sort of styled product shots. And honestly, I think I nailed it.

And while I do love the product shot, I really love a behind the scenes shot of how it all went down. While I'd like for you to believe I have some amazing product photography set up in my private studio,  the reality is that I set it up on my dining room floor, next the the pile of laundry that needs to be put away and my makeshift little bar. What you don't see is my trusty intern, marauding array of animals (both welcomed and not so much welcomed), a spilled water glass and some seriously frayed nerves.

Regardless, it's still fun to have a looksee behind the scenes. And always remember how much of our lives we get to curate on a daily basis my friends. It's really a real lot.

In other news, you really need to check out my friends over at Best Kept Self. (That's who this sweet little product shot is for). They are the real deal and do an amazing job with everything they do. I am currently working with their nutritionist, Jessie, to get myself in better shape health wise. And wow! What a difference I can already feel! Seriously. Get on over there and sign up for all things great.

The rollercoaster ride of parenthood

My little guy is turning into such a man these days. Responsible and noble. Kind and generous. At the same time he is still a little kid. Shy and awkward, with so much to learn.

It's such a thrilling age - this preteen/tween stage. So many people hate to parent kids of this age, but I am really loving it. You can see the shape of who they are going to be in a few short years when they spreads their wings and jump head-first into this big wide world. And they are like curious little sponges (probably looking for information to prove their parents wrong at any turn).

It's a rollercoaster ride - this parenting thing - filled with loop-de-loops, ups, downs, corkscrews and death defying tricks you are never sure if you will get out of alive. But at the end, I am sure I won't get off and think I am going to be sick. I think I will rather say - WOW! That was the ride of my life. I am so glad I took the chance to do it.

Each day brings it's own ride. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world.

Work

What.A.Day.

Photo shoot in the most amazing place on the most spectacular day with the most lovely crew of folks. I had my little intern assisting again today on his first ever photoshoot. He did a pretty good job, all things considered. It's a lot of fun to be the photographer...but unfortunately less so to be the assistant. Alas, we all have to start somewhere. When he is rich and famous, he will thank me for setting him on the right path early on.

I am so happy about today's shoot, but need to hold off on posting photos of the real thing since they are waiting on the amazing Charleston Shop Curator to post whenever she is ready.

Our staging spot was the historic and lovely Legare Waring House at Charles Towne Landing. And it was so beautiful. I would love to have an event/wedding/live in that spot. It's so amazingly preserved and cared for. I can only imagine all the gatherings that took place here.

Above is a shot I took while scouting the grounds this mornings ...these blue skies we get in the winter here in Charleston are to die for. TO.DIE.FOR. They make my heart happy...and my body very warm on an otherwise chilly day.

The Intern

So... my son has to do an internship for a week with his school. They have to show up at a real-life job and do real-life job things. Today was my little guy's first day on the job as photographer's assistant. And since we couldn't find other friends/family/suckers to take him, I am the boss.

Here he is...Day 1. Reporting for duty!  "Seriously dude. Wake up already. Its 8:00 AM and I have accomplished about 40 things already."

I kid...this is what my intern really looked like today:

Just a few hours in and he was editing photos in a program he had never used before. He mastered that software like he'd been doing it all his life - LIKE A BOSS. What's even more awesome is that he is a perfectionist (Mom...that's not in focus! *sigh*) and a good worker! I am super proud of him today.

Tomorrow, we have an exciting shoot and some additional fun things on the books for the rest of the week. So I am looking forward to a fun and fruitful week with my main man.

Stay tuned for more adventures this week in interning.

Project 365

Carrots from my garden. I am learning here too.

I have long admired the discipline of people who do a 365 project. I just never got into one of my own. Often I am taken away from my desk for stretches of time on shoots out of town (I am unfortunately not a laptop user). I also seem to struggle with something that I have to do every day - like take a daily supplement, for example. And these projects always sounded like more work added into my already busy life.

Besides all that, I think the vulnerability of posting something every day to the world that might not be your "best work" is something all photographers struggle with. Will people like this photo? Is it good enough? Am I good enough? Will I look too narcissistic or (insert other harsh adjective here) if I just post stuff about my life all the time? Self doubt can stop you before you have even begun a project. And so far, for me, it has succeeded.

Fear is real. And putting yourself out there can be hard. But like everything, you just have to do it. Leap and the net will appear. You just have to show up and keep trying...keep practicing...keep working towards the goal.  A 365 project is just this - practice. It's there so you can keep working on that craft, so you can keep addressing the things you love to do, and so you can ultimately be better - be it gardening, yoga, photography or motherhood. Practice builds the ultimate confidence we seek out. 

So here I am, working on my very own Project 365. I can't wait to see what it brings. I can't wait for the mishaps and the hiccups and the trials and tribulations that comes with growth and learning. I can't wait to see what comes next.

#postcardsfromcharleston

Over the past several months, I have been working on a really fun project on social media. I didn't start this project to get more followers. It wasn't started as a way to get people to notice me in any way. I simply started it as a way to fall in love again with this lovely little city. Turns out, it was much bigger than that in the first place.

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I live in one of the most popular cities in the world - according to Conde Nast and Travel & Leisure. And it's no surprise. These awards were a long time coming. Beautiful beaches, diverse culture, and world-renowned food make the trifecta of perfection in this lovely little city. People have finally taken note of all the Charleston has to offer.

I love Charleston. I do. But for much of my life, it never really loved me back. I moved here as a young teen during those developmental years when you really start laying a foundation of who you think you are (I am gonna let that sink in for a minute...WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE). Turns out, all I really thought I was in Charleston as a teenager was not enough. (I mean...come on....it was 9th grade. Is anyone enough in 9th grade? If only I knew then...)  I always felt like an outsider looking in - peering into the well-lit South of Broad windows on breezy, sultry southern evenings.

I left Charleston promptly after those tumultuous days in prep school. And even though I ran away, there was always something that pulled me back. My aging parents. My sister and her ever-growing family. The spanish moss dripping from live oaks on my long drive home. The marsh. The sunshine. The beach. It tugged at me, begging me to stay, promising me love all those things I never found here as a vulnerable and awkward teenager.

So I came back. I packed my bags and found a comfortable corner of the world. I put down roots and started raising a wonderful little boy of my own. I found old friends and met new ones. I settled into life a little bit - working, carpooling, grocery shopping, and visiting the corners of my long lost past that I once loved. Somehow though, it still wasn't the same. Ghosts of my uncomfortable life lingered around every corner. They waited for me in alleyways and down long stretches of highway. They hid behind wrought-iron fences and imposing church doors. They lurked in graveyards and playgrounds, waiting to catch me off guard...waiting to remind me of who I never really was in the first place. 

One hot day in October last year, I got tired. Tired of all the pain and all the memories. I got sick of the new faces in the city telling me how great it was here. I hated wrestling with the heat and the humidity and the long days of air conditioning inside. Simply put - I had grown weary of the fight I had created for myself. My parents were now long gone, as was our once modest home in a remote corner of one of the fanciest resorts in the world. My friends had all moved on. Only the shadows remained of a life that I had once come here for.  I was ready to pack my bags and leave this city that tortured me like some dumb boy who was there for nothing but to string me along in a ridiculous game of cat and mouse.

Something stirred inside me that day. I took a drive. I hopped in the car with my camera and set off to find something I loved. The beach? Spanish moss? Cobblestone streets? I had to find something to be positive about. It couldn't all be as bad as the demons in my head were telling me. So, I set out to find something to embrace about where I was - right here and right now.

#postcardsfromcharleston developed because I wanted to like Charleston for what Charleston was - pretty, quaint, serene...and home.  But over time, it became so much more than that. It became Love. And Peace. It became a sense of belonging in my otherwise displaced heart. It's became a place for contentment and gratitude and appreciation. And mostly, it is now a place me to find myself again and let go of old notions I once had.

The best part for me is that I have found this space. It was with me all the time. I just had to want to see it and refocus the picture that had become all too blurry to me. And let go...

Note: you can find me on instagram or twitter to follow the project #postcardsfromcharleston.