life

Weather the storm

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rainy-days

We have had some nasty weather lately. Ice. Sleet. Rain. Cold. Even I am a little tired of the dreary days that have dragged on through the past few weeks.

The grey days make it hard to find your groove. Motivation comes slowly on days like these. I look for comfort at every corner - soft clothes and warm meals and and hot drinks. But there are days when you just need to hunker down and weather it all by pressing on. And then there are days when you need to say - enough is enough...I'm retreating to my corner.

Right now, I feel like retreating. But I know I can't. I know I have to press through. Because spring is just around the corner. And brighter days are ahead.

So for now, I will stand facing it all. For now, I will weather the storm ahead. For now, I will stand strong and carry on.

Planning

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seeds

On the coldest days of February, my favorite thing to do is plan a little for the warm sunshine and longer days of summer. Plan on which bed the tomatoes will reside and where the squash will (hopefully) flourish. Plan on what to rotate when. Mostly, I like to plan what will nourish me most and what will sustain me through those long, hot days of summer.

Small Investments

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chicke salad

Today is busy. Full of edits and shoot prep and future plans. I seem to run out of time so easily these days. There are only so many hours in the day to pack in all the important things.

I am trying not to run out of time for myself these days. I am really good at putting everything in front of my own needs. I could go pro. But even on my busiest days, I try to pause for a little self care. It's like making a tiny investment in a long term fund that grows without you watching it. Slowly, over time, it all becomes a habit and before you know it, you have the resources to fall back on and get you through those challenges life brings.

So today's theme is pausing in the moment for some care. This is part of it...a light lunch. Lean. Homemade. And healthy. A little fresh air and sunshine.

And a little reminder that I am worth it.

El Gato Diablo

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fezzie the cat

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen this video I posted about my life in hell recently. Only, in my world this happens at 2:19 AM...when I am (conveniently) sound asleep. And for no real reason but that she needs something that I haven't figured out. What's worse...I am wide awake for another 2 hours - minimum. Let's just say mornings here have been a little hard on me.

Don't let this face fool you. On the outside she's all fuzzy and cute. But on the inside, the devil lives there. Yes. I am sure of it. And as patient as I am with most animals, 2:19 AM is NOT a wake up time for food or water or whatever else you need to communicate that I am not giving you.

Someone please send her the memo.

Before the frost

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carrots

It's time to harvest and gather. Time to reap what we sow. It's time to duck from the hardships and collect what we need. Preparing for the frosts is never easy. But we do what we can and learn a little more every time.

It's time to hunker down and prepare for the hard freeze ahead. It's time to do the hard work. The real work. The dirty work.

 

Take care.

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Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Take care of yourself. Kindly and with purpose. Gently over breakfast, or fiercely over your morning sweat. Take time for rest. Spend moments on yourself. Eat. Sleep. Play. Work. Find some spiritual center - in God, or on the beach, or a under a leaf. Find a place that you feel really small. Find a place that you feel really big. They are both really important to finding the balance we all strive for.

Just take the time to take the care of you that you deserve. You are worth it.

Everything nice.

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baby_G.jpg

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

This day was awesome. Not only did I get to photograph this beauty, but I got to photograph and spend time with her mother in their TO.DIE.FOR house that she and her awesomely handy and talented husband built. While I wasn't photographing her and her daily handing out life with Goldie, we were working on getting her some portraits to promote herself a little more as the incredible artist she deserves to be recognized as. I really can't wait until the world uncovers what a gem we are hiding in her art and creative mind.

But this...this little dose of sweetness is what I came for. Kisses. And smiles. And blue eyes you could swim around in for days. I just really don't know how they get anything done.

 

Auntie Libby

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BabyV

Besides being a mother, one of my favorite things in the world is to be an Auntie. It's full of all kinds of perks. You get to play with them without any of the hardships of parenting. There is really no discipline or punishing. There are no bedtimes to stress about or mealtimes to angst over. It's just play. Fun. Adventure. Love.

This week, I got to play Auntie for a few short and precious hours. We threw balls and colored. We played Bubble Guppies and read books. We even sang and danced (well, not so much me with the singing and the dancing. But this one sure put on a show!) It's always an adventure being the Auntie.

I also got to meet this cutie pie and be a totally different kind of Auntie...more like squishy pillow Auntie.

These newborns get me every time. The baby smells and the sounds and the gummy smiles. I am all a melted puddle of love after holding a newborn. I always thought it was a such a treat having a little one around of my own - albeit too brief.

For now, though, I will love being the Auntie. The play and fun and treats all make for feeling a little bit like Mary Poppins in the life of your friends and family. I know when momma needs help and rest. But I also know when it's time to step down and let momma do the work she needs to do.

Because nothing - and I really mean NOTHING - can replace your mom in this world.

Sunset

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sunset.jpg

"Clouds come floating into my life - no longer to carry rain or usher storm - but to add color to my sunset sky." R.Tagore

I have been on the slippery slope of sickness today - sliding down it's icy face with no hope. Despite being on a rapid decline downward, I watched the sunset from my dining room this evening and thought about good things - love and hope and family and sunsets. And I somehow let the sun take away all the sickness and pain and bad thoughts away - slipping into the darkness never to be seen again.

Thank you Sun. Until we meet again...

Behind the scenes

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Today was filled with lots and lots of busy work. There was editing and emails (oh so many emails). And then I had a product shot to set up in my house. It is a little known fact, but I really love to do these sort of styled product shots. And honestly, I think I nailed it.

And while I do love the product shot, I really love a behind the scenes shot of how it all went down. While I'd like for you to believe I have some amazing product photography set up in my private studio,  the reality is that I set it up on my dining room floor, next the the pile of laundry that needs to be put away and my makeshift little bar. What you don't see is my trusty intern, marauding array of animals (both welcomed and not so much welcomed), a spilled water glass and some seriously frayed nerves.

Regardless, it's still fun to have a looksee behind the scenes. And always remember how much of our lives we get to curate on a daily basis my friends. It's really a real lot.

In other news, you really need to check out my friends over at Best Kept Self. (That's who this sweet little product shot is for). They are the real deal and do an amazing job with everything they do. I am currently working with their nutritionist, Jessie, to get myself in better shape health wise. And wow! What a difference I can already feel! Seriously. Get on over there and sign up for all things great.

The rollercoaster ride of parenthood

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My little guy is turning into such a man these days. Responsible and noble. Kind and generous. At the same time he is still a little kid. Shy and awkward, with so much to learn.

It's such a thrilling age - this preteen/tween stage. So many people hate to parent kids of this age, but I am really loving it. You can see the shape of who they are going to be in a few short years when they spreads their wings and jump head-first into this big wide world. And they are like curious little sponges (probably looking for information to prove their parents wrong at any turn).

It's a rollercoaster ride - this parenting thing - filled with loop-de-loops, ups, downs, corkscrews and death defying tricks you are never sure if you will get out of alive. But at the end, I am sure I won't get off and think I am going to be sick. I think I will rather say - WOW! That was the ride of my life. I am so glad I took the chance to do it.

Each day brings it's own ride. But I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world.

The Intern

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So... my son has to do an internship for a week with his school. They have to show up at a real-life job and do real-life job things. Today was my little guy's first day on the job as photographer's assistant. And since we couldn't find other friends/family/suckers to take him, I am the boss.

Here he is...Day 1. Reporting for duty!  "Seriously dude. Wake up already. Its 8:00 AM and I have accomplished about 40 things already."

I kid...this is what my intern really looked like today:

Just a few hours in and he was editing photos in a program he had never used before. He mastered that software like he'd been doing it all his life - LIKE A BOSS. What's even more awesome is that he is a perfectionist (Mom...that's not in focus! *sigh*) and a good worker! I am super proud of him today.

Tomorrow, we have an exciting shoot and some additional fun things on the books for the rest of the week. So I am looking forward to a fun and fruitful week with my main man.

Stay tuned for more adventures this week in interning.

 

Project 365

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Carrots from my garden. I am learning here too.

Carrots from my garden. I am learning here too.

I have long admired the discipline of people who do a 365 project. I just never got into one of my own. Often I am taken away from my desk for stretches of time on shoots out of town (I am unfortunately not a laptop user). I also seem to struggle with something that I have to do every day - like take a daily supplement, for example. And these projects always sounded like more work added into my already busy life.

Besides all that, I think the vulnerability of posting something every day to the world that might not be your "best work" is something all photographers struggle with. Will people like this photo? Is it good enough? Am I good enough? Will I look too narcissistic or (insert other harsh adjective here) if I just post stuff about my life all the time? Self doubt can stop you before you have even begun a project. And so far, for me, it has succeeded.

Fear is real. And putting yourself out there can be hard. But like everything, you just have to do it. Leap and the net will appear. You just have to show up and keep trying...keep practicing...keep working towards the goal.  A 365 project is just this - practice. It's there so you can keep working on that craft, so you can keep addressing the things you love to do, and so you can ultimately be better - be it gardening, yoga, photography or motherhood. Practice builds the ultimate confidence we seek out. 

So here I am, working on my very own Project 365. I can't wait to see what it brings. I can't wait for the mishaps and the hiccups and the trials and tribulations that comes with growth and learning. I can't wait to see what comes next.

Below my Feet

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"And now I sleep.
Sleep the hours that I can't weep.
When all I knew was steeped in blackened holes.
I was lost.

Keep the earth below my feet.
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak.
Let me learn from where I have been.
Keep my eyes to serve my hands to learn.
Keep my eyes to serve my hands to learn."

Below My Feet, Mumford & Sons.