I strive for this level of peace in my heart, comfort with my body, and overall lack of worry.
“If there is a way to overcome a situation, then instead of feeling too much sadness, fear or anger, make an effort to change the situation. If there is nothing you can do to overcome the situation, then there is no need for fear or sadness or anger. Face the facts and the reality. Fear is part of human nature. It is a natural response that comes in the face of danger. But, in fact, when real danger comes you can be more fearless and more realistic. On the other hand, when you let your fear run wild, you can exacerbate the situation further and bring more fear…live your life with purpose.”
I read this quote from the Dalai Lama in a book I am reading right now - JOY - recommended to me by my brother-in-law about a year ago. The book is a record of conversations between the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu - two of the greatest leaders in our world.
The book is interesting, but this one quote has completely stood out to me. It stopped me in my tracks…not because of it’s complexity, but rather it’s simplicity.
I have spent a tremendous amount of time in my life worrying about things that never come to fruition. I worry about everything and nothing. I worry about things that won’t matter in the long run…about feelings I have hurt or those that have hurt me. The amount of time I spend fretting over things is astounding and could probably give me a second career if it paid well.
I have been working with a coach lately. The past 6 months have been extremely hard for me. I struggled with depression and anxiety worse than I can remember in my 50+ years on this planet, most of it for no good reason. I am learning what triggers me, what I need to do, and how to fulfill my own needs as a human. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
Or is it?
Maybe the key to happiness and ending suffering - as the Dalai Lama said - is in the letting go. Maybe the key is in the reflection of what really matters. I am not sure where it all got off track. Was it when my parents died? When I became estranged from my sister? Was it when I ran out of money and work during the pandemic? Or is it leftover from the pandemic? Maybe it’s all of it….
What I do know is the letting go feels so complicated. Perhaps this is because I am making it hard. Perhaps I don’t know what I’d do without the death grip of anxiety. Would I know what to do next? How to breathe? How to exist?
I do know that I will try daily to make this a practice. Stop running away from the things I can fix and manage them better. It’s really the least I can do for me.
Give yourself grace in this complicated world. life is too short to carry the burdens for others. Let them go - here, now, forever. And take care of yourself.