Jennifer

This one…

She has been standing by my side through this life with me for a while now…about 30+ years if I am doing the math right. Our friendship has outlasted careers and bad boyfriends, life and death, and even distance and proximity. There have been years I wouldn’t have made it through without her friendship, or her unyielding support. Her love is the perfect blended cocktail of strength and kindness for my thirsty soul.

She knows so much about me, often more than I can admit about myself. She listens to everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - that I am going through without batting an eye at the minuscule details I seem to cover. She calmly holds space for me in times of grief and patiently waits for me to come through whatever fog life has put in my path, always gently guiding me where I need to be.

But I think there are things she doesn’t know sometimes - like how much her texts mean to me each day or how strongly I value her opinion. She doesn’t know that I realize she almost single-handedly got me to actually pursue photography again after years of putting the camera down. It was this girl that held me up when I was falling apart a few short years ago in ways I can’t begin to express my gratitude for. And it is her that reminds me almost daily that I am worthy of so much more than what I ask for.

And here we are…her special day. A monumental occasion.

So, how do you celebrate a human that is this special to you on a day this special to them?

Candy? Balloons? A Party? A blog post? Nothing seems to fit this occasion. It all seems like an ill-fitting pair of cheap shoes that are wrong for the event. Too tight, stiff and awkward.

What I can do is share with you that I have hit the jackpot of friendships. What I can say is that she means more to me that she will ever comprehend. What I can tell you is that my gratitude for her unyielding support is immeasurable and undefinable.

Mostly though, what I can do is try to show her the same friendship, kindness and support she has shown me over these 30 years. What I can do it hold space for her as she continues to grow into the human she is meant to be - creative, kind, talented, smart, thoughtful, and generous with all of her.

Happy Birthday, my friend. May all your birthday wishes come true.

xox

.

Connections

I pressed the button here, so this is technically not my camera or edit. But these are my best people. Credit to my cousin, Rowan Williams of Parrot & Pineapple Photography, for her mad skills and camera.

A few weeks ago, we had these lovelies visiting us for a week from England. My whole family is from “the Motherland,” and we don’t get to see them nearly as much as I would like. When we do see them, days zip by as we navigate through meals and sightseeing, sitting poolside watching time slip away relentlessly, like water in a sieve.

Shortly after their visit, one of my best friends came to the area for a brief overnight trip. I felt the same tugging at my heart - that familiar feeling you get when you slip right back where your friendship last dropped off, despite years of children, missed birthdays, and too many miles between you both. It’s a familiarity of friendship that can’t be replaced or changed. I melted into the feeling once again, leaning into a sense of peace as they shuffled out to the car in my dark driveway, sleepy babies in tow…the fuzziness of familiarity, peace, and satisfaction of a delicious evening together.

It’s that feeling that I always want to bask in…the timeless love, forgiveness of sins, and unabashed acceptance of one another as we are in the moment we are in.

It’s not often we get these people in our lives that can hold space for us as we are. It’s not often we get people that love us unconditionally. I mean…let’s be real….I don’t even love myself that way. But when spend your time with people who make you feel wholly you – without hidden, selfish agendas or a mission to change you – isn’t it worth hanging on for dear life?

Perhaps the place I am in with life right now makes this even more poignant… change is on the horizon: my child is grown and ready to spread his wings, and loved ones have passed on…leaving connection to the people I have been closest to that much more desirable and necessary.

We are hard wired for connection. Ask any anthropologist or sociologist. It’s a requirement for living. Babies will actually die without physical connection, even when their other needs are met. So it’s no wonder that despite my best efforts to cut myself off, these deep connections I feel with family and friends who I have shared a history with are normal and expected…and, dare I say, necessary.

So now, I look forward to what the next phase holds. Maybe it’s a re-connection phase. Or maybe it’s a freedom phase. I just know it will be a phase of deep, meaningful relationships wherever I turn.

And thank goodness for direct flights.

A posse of goodness

Y'all...These kids. They slay me.

This is our neighborhood posse. These kids have known each other forever. They were born together. They have toddled around beaches and parks together. They have slept on each others bedroom floors.

This is real. This is the beginning right here. This is the stuff long term friendships are made of. This is the stuff you tell stories about in 30 years over cocktails and in wedding speeches. This is where life begins. This is where we begin to form who we are in this crazy world.

I couldn't ask for a better crew for my son to grow up with. They are honest and kind and sweet and good. And that's all I could ever ask for - a posse of goodness.