Dear Graham.
You turned eighteen this week. For days, I have been trying to find the words to express my feelings. But for the first time, I am at a loss. I feel like a ship at sea…no oars, no land in sight. I feel like someone took me on a wild ride and then slammed on the brakes. It’s disorienting and overwhelming all at the same time.
People always talk about how fast it goes. They talk about how the days are long, but the years are short. And you know what? It’s true. It went at lightening speed. It feels like you were only just my little baby I rocked to sleep in the stillness of the night while the rest of the world gently slumbered around us. Nothing else mattered in the darkness of those long nights. Just you.
And then, within months, life started gaining momentum like a high-speed train through the countryside. You were just my little tot, toddling around watching Elmo and Bear in the Big Blue House, excited to eat your little Cheerio snacks. Then you were headed to preschool…to middle school…to high school…to karate…to rugby games. Where did it all go? I feel stunned.
But this isn’t about me, is it? It’s about you. It’s about the person you have become…the person you are becoming. It’s about how much you have changed the world. You have already changed my world. And for that, I am forever grateful.
You are a man now…your own person. You are capable of voting and working and driving a car on your own with no curfews or restrictions. You are on the precipice of adulthood, making your own decisions about what you eat each day and where you spend your time. It’s no longer up to me to tell you what friends to play with or what to have for breakfast or what new shoes to wear…not that I ever really could before. You’ve always had your own ideas. Sometimes that was hard. But hindsight makes you see everything more clearly. It has all been for the greater good.
Graham, if I can give you one piece of advice for this next phase of your life, it’s this: Be. You.
Be unapologetically you. Don’t edit yourself for the benefit of the world. Because frankly, you need no editing. You are an incredible, kind, aware, empathetic human - beautiful. This incredible nature is in your bones…in your heart…in your soul. It’s every piece of who you are, every piece of who I see. You are so deeply beautiful, some people may never see it. But it’s as visible to me as your sunkissed blonde hair and sea green eyes.
Most people spend a lifetime trying to get to where you already are. You already have it. You are there. You were born with it. And it has stayed with you these 18 years. Don’t put this part down. Let the world rise up to meet you right now.
Our world isn’t always made for kindness and empathy. It’s not made for softness. But, my sweet soul, it needs it. This world needs you to stay the course of the person I see rising up before my very eyes. We need men that care, men that are kind, and men that have hearts of gold - both strong and soft… a beacon of hope, glimmering in the dust and darkness of the world. Be that.
Be. You.
Because being you is the thing that is going to help bring about change in this world. It’s already changed mine.
Love,
Momma