On Finding Your Tribe.

These two have always completed each other in the best way possible. Full of wild ideas and big love.

If I have discovered something to be true, it’s that we all need to find our tribe. The tribe where you belong to the people who accept you for all that you are. Flaws. Crazy ideas. Quirks. They are never leaving you. So find someone who can tolerate all of them - not change you to make you “better.” These are the souls who make us feel like we belong to something bigger.

I used to think I could change people and form them into the image in my head…you know the one: it fits nicely into the picture you imagine of your life. (Ohhhh to be 20 again!)

One day it dawned on me that in my desperation to change people, I was the one who began to change. I bowed and curtsied to anyone who needed anything from me. I became what others wanted. And when it became too much, the relationships failed. It happened every single time. I lost big love. I lost family. I lost myself. All because I didn’t know how to be me.

One of the reasons I let this happen was because what I THOUGHT I needed was love. And to get that love, meant to seek the approval of anyone and everyone around me. I had no convictions. I had no person. I became a shell of a human just to feel love. I put myself on the line far too often. And while I think in some form I have always been myself, I never really learned how to be ME.

Today is a new day. I am ready to stand my ground and be who I need to be. I am ready to tell you my political bent. I am ready to stand up for the things I believe in. It’s easier now than ever before because I have my people….that tribe that loves me as I am. It’s not as big as it once was, but this time I know it’s real.

And real is all I ever needed. There is nothing else but real. Because that, my friends, is where the love is. And the love is where your tribe is.

So keep being you. Not that person on instagram or Facebook. Not your neighbor or your friend. Your house doesn’t need to look like a magazine or catalog. You just need to surround yourself with things that are authentically you. Friends. Love. And real life.

Trust me on this one.

The Sacredness of Food.

I am one of those weird people who finds cooking therapeutic and relaxing. When I tell this to people, they often stare through me, as though I am speaking another language of sorts. Sometimes people mumble back to me, “how do you have time for all that?” or “I just can’t be bothered…too much work!”

I get it. I really do…there are many days that I feel like take out is the best option. But there is something so mystical that I get lost in during the cooking process. Somewhere in the rhythm of chopping, mincing, and mixing, I get a little lost from the thoughts that plague the reality of my life. I get lost in the sacred ritual of it all.

For me, cooking is very definitive. It has a beginning, a middle and an end that usually happen in hours - as opposed to the days or weeks some projects can take. Whether you are baking a chicken or making a cake, the results are instantaneous and tangible. While I can make a cake in an afternoon, it could take days - even weeks and yes, sometimes months - for me to plan, shoot, edit, and deliver photos to a client.

Mostly though, it’s the end result. Feeding someone is giving them a gift you made yourself. When I cook, there is a sacredness to making the meal…I think about what people love, what they need…what they crave. I put energy into sourcing ingredients - where can I get the most delicious produce? Who has the best meats? Who has the “right” food for the meal at hand? The mere process of combining flavors, textures, and smells together makes it feel like art - like a painting coming together in all it’s vibrancy. It’s carefully crafted and created just for them.

So next time you sit down to a meal that someone has made, give pause and think of what went into making it. Or, when you endeavor to make your next meal for someone, think of the gift in the creation of it all. There is a sacredness in the food itself. There is a sacredness in the presentation and the process.

And then, after you think about all of that, dive in with love.

A Fresh Future

Fresh Future Farm event for the Charleston Wine + Food Festival, 2017

This past weekend, I got to attend 6 (or more...it's all a haze now) events for the Charleston Wine + Food Festival. One of my dream events was shooting at Fresh Future Farm – an urban farm created as a response to addressing food, health, economic, and environmental disparities. Fresh Future Farm is in the middle of what's known as a food desert in North Charleston - an area where grocery stores have pulled out of the area because these are unprofitable neighborhoods. And as you may well know, grocery stores equate to big business.

So there I was, shooting a farm to table dinner in the middle of a food desert on the cutest little farm I ever did see, with some of the top chefs in the country cooking over open flame and plating up one of the most spectacular meals I witnessed in all the events I attended... maybe even in my whole life. All of it was Inspired food from the region – some of it grown right here in Charleston.

As I stepped away from the event goers and party planners into the field of collards and cabbages, I took a moment to appreciate where I was and what this meant.... For me. For the community. It was all a little overwhelming to be honest. Not only am I doing PRECISELY what I loved (HELLLOOOOOO.... farm, food, & people are my intersectional bliss), but I was getting to witness it being done for a cause that mattered. I saw community coming together and chefs making magic.  Suddenly, my heart felt fuller than the bellies of those lucky little diners.

I am lucky to do what I do every day. It's not easy. It doesn't come with all these romantic notions of love and grandeur and cups that runneth over. Don't be deceived. This work is hard. It's relentless hustling and constant let down. It's time away on the weekends and tired muscles from walking with too much gear. But it's what fills my soul. Especially when it intersects with moments like this.

I am forever grateful for this job, this life, and this continuously unrelenting call that hasn't left me since I first picked up a camera at the age of 12. I love what I do. But today, I feel inspired and incredibly lucky to just be here...basking in the aftermath of it all.

Thanks CHSWFF2017. I can't wait to see what you cook up for next year!