If I am being honest, the end-of-the-year scares the crap out of me. Perhaps it’s the “letting go” part that I am not good at. Or maybe it’s the goal-setting, intention-making, resolution-creating that scares the crap outta me. But it all feels so much like I am not living up to an expectation that floats around out there like a half-filled helium balloon - a little too far out of my reach.
This has been a heavy ending to a year that made promises it couldn’t keep - just like so many years before it (I’m looking at you 2020 - 2023). We have sick family, thwarted plans, and lost friends. And it just feels like a lot these days.
As I hung up the phone with my now fiancé a few moments ago (more to come on this news breaker!), he said “It’ll be our turn soon…”
I responded immediately with “maybe when it’s just our turn, that means we don’t have anyone left in our lives to worry about. No parents. No children. No close friends. I’ll take over that any day.”
I have seen my share of down days. But this isn’t that. It’s a gentle reminder that love digs deep and letting go isn’t always something we aim for. Maybe I have spent all my years trying to let go of something that was so much a part of my being, I didn’t see it. Like aborting a part of my soul that I never recognized.
Maybe my weight is just a part of me I’ve tried to deny for too long. Diets would never work and resolutions to lose weight were being thwarted because I just never saw it for what it was…a part of me. Even when I tried to make gentle resolutions or set intentions - like BE MORE MINDFUL - it always seemed like I was telling myself I didn’t measure up as I was.
Maybe instead of aggressive resolutions and strong finishes, we focus on being gentle with ourselves, focus on what’s important, love where we are and what we have right now, and take precious care of us. Let’s reflect on what we did do in 2023 and what lessons we learned and float gently into the new year - like a feather and not a bomb.
I am not here for the STRONG FINISHES or hard and set goals for 2023. I have spent the better part of my life trying to accomplish things that never get done. And frankly, I am exhausted from trying to keep up. I am here for soft, gentle, and loving. Because I am just now realizing I respond to gentle encouragement much better than commands anyhow.
So this year, my intention, my hope, my mission is this: let’s see where this ride takes us, shall we?
Just don’t forget to buckle up!