In plain sight...

If you spend anytime on the beach, you spend time combing the shores for little treasures. Conch shells, sand dollars, and still in tact bi-valves are always fun to come across. But the real treasure lies in finding the sharks teeth along the shores. They are like tiny little treasures from the sea just waiting for your magical eyes to find them.

Shark teeth seekers are easy to spot on any beach - a slow meander while hunched over looking at the ground, occasionally flicking things around and letting the rubble fall away.  There is an apparent gift in combing for shark teeth that I have yet to master. I have tried all summer to find one and have yet to be successful. But there are some that come by this gift naturally, as if the Universe donned this gift only to them - the special ones.

Each morning I stop off at a little cove in Charleston called Sunrise Park. It's got gorgeous views and is a great place to start my busy day. As I was combing the beach this morning, I kept discarding piles and piles of shells. I sat, hunched over, sifting through the sand handful by handful, looking for the tiniest teeth out there. It was a hugely unsuccessful effort. Discouraged, I gave up.

As I sat there watching the sun come up, I got ready to gather my things. I looked down at the discarded pile of rubble when I noticed something. No...not shark teeth. But in the rubble were a million little shells - broken, crumbled, and beautiful. Shells I had never noticed here before. Little lettered olives. Tiny bi-valves. Itty bitty channeled whelks. And tiny banded tulip shells. All there right in front of me. All discarded because I was so fixated on finding something I thought I wanted...I thought I needed.

I got to thinking, maybe this is true for life. Maybe we are so fixated on the thing we are looking for that more often than not, we are discarding other beautiful opportunities that are right in front of us just waiting to be seen. We walk through our days so concerned with the one thing we don't have that we don't see all the other small things right there in plain sight.

Photography is all about seeing things. It's about waiting for the right moment, the right light, the right angle and they right timing to see what you came looking for. And sometimes in the course of this, you end up getting something totally different but equally as amazing. Like an unexpected gift in the sand, you always get something great. You just have to be open to all the possibilities.

I may not have the gift of the Shark Teeth Seekers. But that's okay. For now, I will sit back on the shore and admire them from afar. I have other gifts. I can see things they don't even know are there.

Gifts that are right there...in plain sight.

Underneath the costumes.

When you wear your vulnerability on the outside, your days can be a real struggle with balancing how much or little to reveal about yourself to the world. For me, this is a daily challenge. 

I am, in the deepest and truest form of myself, a very vulnerable human. I tend to wear it loudly. Knowing how much to reveal about myself is both a struggle and a gift. Most of the time, I look for the safe places - like the well-lit, pumpkin carved houses on Halloween night...they look warm, inviting and cozy from the outside. But often those same character traits are harder to see in humans. We don't wear our acceptance on the outside all the time. So many days, I just find myself trying to blend in in this world.

The problem with blending in for me is that it becomes as obvious as a glittered princess costume on Halloween night. I can't hide that it's really me under here. My authenticity has a way of stripping me bare and revealing who I really am to the world in the same way you can see that those trick-or-treaters are perhaps not TRULY superheroes just because they are wearing the shiny, glittered costume that says so. Those costumes show the world both what we are hiding from and what we dare wish to dream to become. We end up revealing a little too much in the hiding of our authentic selves.

We train our kids when they are little to dream big and for a moment let them become something they are not. But is that the right thing for them to learn...to cover up who they really are? Why can't they go as their authentic selves? Why can't we trick-or-treat as the vulnerable versions of who we are? "Trick-or-treat!!! I am feeling down and scared of my life today. I hate my hair and my boss is mad at me again....can I have some candy? Or should I just toilet paper your front trees since you aren't going to help me?" This seems like a much better idea than covering up our truth, hiding who we are struggling to get away from by throwing a super hero or (even worse) princess costume on ourselves.

Now don't get me wrong....I admittedly love seeing the kids run from house to house in their best costumes on Halloween night, proud parents standing at the street, sugar high kicking in right on my front porch. I love that people go all out for something - decorating every surface of their homes and selves for a cause. It seems to be almost spritual. But I can't help but wonder if we would all be better just presenting our authentic selves out there instead of the pretend versions we send out into the world every day. I can't help but wonder what all this covering up is for in the first place.

The world isn't made for vulnerability. So I will keep trying to blend in. And I will keep failing miserably at it. Because in truth, I just can't help anymore but to be who I really and truly am. Fully me...even under all this costuming.

Hidden beauty

Tomatoes. Shot for Plate South.

There is beauty everywhere - just waiting to be discovered.

It's waiting to be found in the corners of your world. It's waiting to be seen in the most obvious of places. It's in the simplest of things and the most complicated places. It's always there...a part of life that eagerly and patiently awaits your discovery. You just have to want to see it.

Indeed, there is beauty everywhere. But it's your job to go and find it.

Lessons in a foggy morning.

The other morning on my sunrise walk, without warning, the fog began to roll in at a rapid pace. We usually see fog come in from the sea at night around here, quickly burning off after the sunrise, but this fog came in from the land AFTER the sunrise. I thought I heard someone yelling to me, as if to warn me of it's impending arrival, but I couldn't be sure that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me.

The whole thing was so disorienting. You couldn't see very far in front of you which made me feel as if I was suddenly going the wrong way or something was going to be there that perhaps shouldn't be. Briefly, I felt like I didn't know my right from my left or which direction I had come or where I was supposed to be going. Instead of panicking like I wanted to (it's been a theme for me lately), I held on to what was true and what I did know. I trusted my senses - my hearing, touch (dry sand/wet sand) and what sight I had left - to lead me where I knew to go. Eventually, I ended up exactly where I had started, heading to the water and following it to back to the boardwalk and then on to my car.

This is something that happens daily for us. The fog rolls in leaving us disoriented. Sometimes you don't know where you are supposed to go. So you evaluate your choices. Sit and wait for it to pass. Or follow your instincts and carry yourself onward. Either is a good choice. Both will get you out of it. But both rely on you trusting yourself.

If you ask me, the trust is the hardest part. When we are hurting or down, our trust in ourselves can waiver. It can be shaky and confusing. It can be disorienting to feel along in our own fog. But most likely, you know what to do. Stop panicking. Breathe. Trust. You will almost always end up where you need to be.

Into the woods

I grew up with a forest for my back yard. Not a national park, but woods so deep they never seemed to end. I would get lost back there for hours, wandering and wondering about things that only I knew about in my own head.  I would lose time – examining leaves, tree bark and chasing fireflies as I quickly forgot about time and how I measured up in a world that seemed to be so limiting for me...even then.  I would stay out there until I was called back for dinner or bedtime, weary and drunk from the air that seemed so fresh and pure.  So it's no wonder that even today,  I still feel most at home in the woods.

There is a sense of embracing that envelopes my soul when I stand amongst the trees still, hearing the crunching and snapping of the twigs and leaves below my feet. I don't worry about who I will encounter or what I may come across. I feel supported - as though there is nothing to worry about but me, the breath in my lungs and the muscles in my body. I feel loved and protected. I feel safe....and understood.

I don't live near much of a forest these days. So every chance I get to be amongst the comfort of the tall trees and the quiet rustle of the ground covering is like some form of unpaid therapy to me. We travel far and wide so I can breathe in the earthiness of forest floors as I my every step seems to kick up another smell as I leave behind another worry, another issue, another problem. And nobody seems to mind as I stop to catch my breath as we climb higher and further away from every little thing that was tying me up in the first place.

And I just fit right back in - comfortably into this world without boundaries or borders to tell me what I have done wrong or right. I fit right back into to home.

The truth.

"Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth."
 Buddha

Comparison

These two identical twins have a lifetime of comparisions ahead. It's what we do. Even though their souls are completely different yet connected, they will forever be compared in looks, height, temperament...everything. By nature. It's what we are programmed to do as humans. We feel justified in saying "this is like this, but different than this." It helps us compartmentalize things.

There is a famous quote by Theodore Roosevelt – "Comparison is the thief of joy."

Lately this has become my mantra. You see, there are lots of creative people out there. Lots of successful people out there. And sometimes – even often – I find myself holding my cards up to their winning deck to see what they have done and how much better off they are.

The problem with comparison is it shows us only a part of the story. We fill in the blanks with what we assume about their situation – they have it easier than me or they don't work as hard or they must be more likable, less sweaty, prettier, thinner...just better.

But when we start digging deeper, we find the story is bigger. We realize in the end that the pictures we were comparing weren't even the same – even if they looked alike on the outside. We were trying to make our Honey Crisp Apples apples taste like their McIntosh apples and darn it...it just wasn't working.

Once we stop comparing what we do with others and only accepting everything for it what it is – purely ours – we start to see the the joy come through. We start to feel the empathy and the compassion and the love in our own work. We begin to see how hard we have worked at everything, despite circumstances surrounding us. And we finally start to realize what we started it all the for in the first place.

So I try not to compare myself to anyone if I can help it. Sure...it slips in every now and again. But truthfully, I am better off when I see myself for who I am - right here and right now. I work hard at accepting what is and look forward to seeing what becomes.

A day off

An iPhone shot of my long day away.

This weekend, after working for about 4 weeks with no break, I did something uncharacteristically me. I took a whole day off. No emailing. No photo editing. No picture taking (except with an iphone). Nothing. I needed to get away from social media, email, photoshop and all the things that pull me in a million different directions.

This happened after a bit of a realization on my end on Saturday and something I admitted out loud: I wasn't happy.

Don't get me wrong. I am filled with appreciation and gratitude for everything I DO have in my life. But something wasn't jelling with me. Too much work and stimulation. Not enough downtime. Too much pleasing everyone. Not enough pleasing myself. There have been deadlines and hustling and meetings and computer time. But everything in my life felt a little chaotic.

This was a sign to me that I was overdue some time to decompress. I needed to do something for me. Self care and self preservation is most important. So, I headed to the beach where I always feel like I can breathe again and plopped myself down and decided to just BE.

I talked to a friend. I sat and stared at the waves. I watched my son swim and frolic in the sea. I walked along the edge of the shore. I dug my feet in the sand and let it crumble between my toes. I did all of this, over and over again, until I felt better. I did it until I realized that all the things we feel and see and want are all only dictated by the stories in our head. I did it until i realized what I really wanted was right in front of me, right at that very moment. Peace. Love. Friends. Family. It was all right there.

Often when we go seeking what we want more of, we realize it's been right there with us all along. For me, it's always been helpful to strip away the noise...the cell phones, the computers, the deadlines and the things-to-do lists. I can come back to what's real and what's most important...

For me all it boils down to is love. Pure and simple love.

On feeling safe

I think there is an element to all of us that wants to feel protected, safe and embraced. Somehow, though, the older we get, the harder this is to achieve - or at least admit outloud. We are supposed to protect ourselves and be strong enough to hold ourselves up. We shouldn't need the strong arms of protection wrapped around us at 14 or 44 or 84. There is this unspoken expectation that we should just automatically feel that we can deal with anything life throws at us no matter what.

But life is scary and hard and overwhelming when you go it alone - trust me, I know. And truthfully – on some level – I think we all want to feel safe. So how can we feel safe and embraced and protected where we are? What are the things that ground us into feeling this way? Is it money in the bank? Friends that have your back? A strong family support? Is it love? Does love simply by definition make us feel safe?

The more we talk about this, the easier it seems. Showing vulnerability makes lots of (but not all of) those we love come out and show empathy. We find our tribe when we become vulnerable. We find those that say "me too" and "you've got this" and "I have your back." Perhaps that's all we really need - to feel a sense of belonging in the world. And every so gently, the strong arms that protected us when we were oh so little turn into simple phrases like "I love you." "I am here for you." "I have got your back." "You've got this." 

Nighty night, Summertime.

Saying farewell to summer these last few days has been bittersweet. I am always surprised at how fast it goes by. It somehow feels like trying to hold water with an open hand....something stays. But most of it slips away before we even knew it was there to begin with.

Until we meet again next year, Summer. I'll be waiting for you.

Fourteen.

You are 14 today. Fourteen. No longer a little boy, and well on your way to becoming a grown man. In a few short days, you are off to high school – out of the little bubble and into a whole new world full of choices and decisions and some of the best and most lasting memories of your lifetime. These are special years, indeed. At this point, all I can do is hope I have built you a solid foundation. The rest is up to you. Well...mostly up to you. Hopefully, you are ready to face the teenage hurdles and roller coaster ride ahead of you.

Before you step off onto this next path, I want you to remember a few things. Just some simple advice I have gathered for you after going through my life as I watch you spread your wings into becoming your own person.

_______________________________________________________

Go with your gut. It won't let you down. It never has. You will always have the right answers within you. Trust. And let go.

Remember your family. They will be here. No matter what. And remember that family can be defined any way you choose.

Trust yourself. You will make the right choices. You always have.

Speak up. If someone is doing something they shouldn't be, say something. To them. To me. To someone who can help. You will always find someone willing to help.

Respect yourself. Respect your body. Treat it well. Don't feed it junk. Brush your teeth. Floss. Shower. Take care of yourself. Rest when you need it. Exercise as much as you can. Be in tune to it's needs. It will tell you everything you need to know.

Respect others. Respect their space, their land, their customs, and their cultures. This world is full of all sorts of people. We are only a small portion of that.

Stay curious. You won't stop learning this year. Or in college. Or as an adult. And just so you know, learning gets better with age. Never lose your curiosity.

Stay creative. Everyone is creative. Not just artists and writers and chefs and scrapbookers. All jobs require a level of creativity. It's a necessary part of life in any field - motherhood, fatherhood, doctors and road workers. Everyone needs a little creativity. 

Love deeply. It will hurt sometimes, but it will also be the best thing you've done.

Have a plan, but don't be afraid to wander a lot. It's important. Having a plan let's you have a roadmap as to where you sort of want to go. Write it down. But let it change. And don't be afraid to wander. You will always always always end up where you were supposed to in the first place.

Have confidence. But don't be cocky. Know you have got whatever it is you want. That test. That job. That new belt in karate. Half of the battle is having the confidence to say that you can do it. The rest is up to hard work and perseverance.

And last, but certainly not least...

Don't let this world change you. Don't stop being kind or considerate or compassionate. It's who you are. It's why you exist. The Graham I know was born to love hugely and feel deeply. That's a good thing. That essence will project you into the human you were meant to be. Don't let life take that away or change that part of you. Don't let anyone tell you who you are supposed to be other than who you are in that moment. Not me. Not your teachers. Not yourself. YOU DO YOU! And the rest will take care of itself. Remain authentic and the world will rise up to meet you.

I love you, big guy! Happy 14th Birthday! I can't wait to see what this world has in store for you!

As Tall as the Trees

“Walk tall as the trees, live strong as the mountains, be gentle as the spring winds, keep the warmth of the summer sun in your heart and the great spirit will always be with you." Native American proverb

Those mighty live oaks that blanket the lowcountry are iconic. With their complicated branches reaching and bending, twisting and turning towards the sunshine and rain, they are the epitome of shelter, comfort and strength. They are home to animals and plant life alike. They are shade from our sweltering summer heat. They are protection from the elements for so many life forms.

Sometimes I take their strength for granted. Walking by them, leaning on them, finding comfort beneath there embracing branches. I curse the clean up every spring and fall as they shed leaves by the truckload. I get frustrated by their acorns scattered on my back deck as they jab into my bare feet. I mutter under my breath as I drag their broken branches blown down from a storm to the curb.  But there they stand - steadfast and strong every day - not asking for anything from anyone...only wanting to be there so they can serve to protect us. 

If a tree were a human, I would like to think I wouldn't feel this way. I would like to think I would embrace and love that person, despite their leaves they let haphazardly fall around or their acorns they drop clumsily every so often. I would love to think that despite these perceived shortcomings, we all have the space to be loved just as we are - broken branches, messy piles, and thick trunk and all.

Maybe as we move through life, we should remember the trees. Selfless and strong, bowing to nothing. Changing for nobody. And always protecting those around us, regardless of who they are. 

On becoming the spark

The Dave Matthews Band last week at the N. Charleston Coliseum. Taken with my trusty iPhone.

How do we stand out in a crowd? How do we become noticed instead of one of the masses? How do we move from the crowd onto the stage and into the spotlight of our own lives?

I watched an interview with Dave Matthews (yes, THAT Dave Matthews) a few weeks ago. In the interview, he spoke about a turning point in his life. He said when he was young, singing in the living room his father turned to him and said "Son, you sing so well that you can even sing off key on purpose. That's incredible!" This was a turning point for him. He said he knew at that moment he was going to be a musician. That became his belief. That became his mission. He knew he loved what he did, but one person validated him and it was a done deal.

As a photographer, I think about following my passion and standing out in a sea of talent almost daily. The quest for getting noticed can be real and strong at times - much the same as I imagine musicians to feel.  So what is it that puts you in the spotlight over a million others out there?  Is it luck? Confidence? Kindness? Sheer determination and a will? Or is it someone believing in you just like Dave Matthews' father did for him all those years ago?

I think it's perhaps a combination of elements for most of us. But what I know for sure is that the more you believe you can do it, the more likely it will be to happen for you. Like any energy in the world, it just needs something to get started. A spark. A drop. Something to give it momentum and speed.

Just remember, always, that the spark starts with you first.

Summertime

A little look at our iPhone summer.

Summertime in Charleston is full of beach days and pool time, flip flops and wet swimsuits, picnics and prosecco.

We don't always have the budget to travel to exotic locations every year or to go on exciting adventures every weekend. But we do have the budget to go to the beach for a few hours to ride the waves, search for sharks teeth (my new summer obsession) or watch a few sherbet-colored clouds float by the fading summer sky.

We get to dance for a little while longer under these lovely, lingering summer skies. And I plan on doing more of this. More meals by the sea. More days lived by the rhythm of the waves. More schedules set by sunrises and sunsets. And come August 15th, I will sigh a little more heavily as our once simple days wash out in the waves once more. 

New Happenings

So....things have little topsy turvy this summer to say the least. That's not to say they are bad...just a little more messy than I am used to.

You see, this summer I decided to embark on a passion project I have been working up in my head for some time now. I decided to take some things I am very passionate about and combine them into one place where my skill set could grow and flourish. Sometimes as creatives, we don't get the projects that showcase our best work, so instead of waiting for the opportunity, I decided to make the opportunity. And so, Plate South was born. 
 

Lowcountry Boil....gone wild!

Plate South is a blog that I have created for my very own selfish purposes. I have always been a huge fan of photographing people and their stories as well as lifestyle around those stories. And I love food - I mean, really...who doesn't? I really love food photography as well. So I created a blog designed to highlight all the talents I have as a photographer, a writer, a designer and a foodie.

Plate South is about the culture of food in the South. It's about eating. It's about dining out. It's about the makers and the purveyors. It's about the markets and the recipes. It's about everything that makes up the growing, evolving, changing food scene we are now experiencing as a culture. 
 

This is Eddie. You should read about him on the blog. He was an amazing character to interview!

This blog is for me. But it's also for you. If you are passionate about food or southern food or food photography, this is something to follow.

I am still for hire. I REPEAT...I AM STILL FOR HIRE! This is just something I am doing as a side project for myself to showcase to you some of the talents I have as a photographer. So enjoy the blog and read along. You are sure to find some little nugget of what you like along the way.
 

Oysters from Coastal Provisions....deeeeelicious!

Let me know what you think and what I can do to make it better! If you have an idea, feel free to call me and let me know! I'd love your feedback!

Much love! And thanks for all the support, friends!

Libby

Cooking up a plan

From my shoot with Charleston Shop Curator out at Wild Dunes recently. More to come!

I have been spending time this summer cooking up a new project I have become pretty passionate about. I didn't realize when I started mulling it over in the beginning of this process that it would actually come to pass. Ideas around here can be like throwing pots of spaghetti at the wall - you just have to see what sticks. And when it does, you know it's ready.

I am enjoying the extra push it's taking to get a project going. It's made me realize a lot about passion and how the things you are really just obsessed with eventually bubble up to make themselves known. You can't deny passions. They consume you and push you to do more.

And that is a good thing.

Love

Love. From the graffiti wall in Austin, TX.

I love lots of things. I love colorful, bold, unashamed, standout love. I love dogs and kittens and horses. I love babies and old people and everyone in between. I love you! I love my friends and my family. I love the warm sunshine and the soothing, cool rain. I love the way the world smells in the early summer in Charleston. I love berries and pineapple and home grown tomatoes. I love my home and my pets and travel. I love my son.

There are also things I don't love. I don't love heat or humidity. I don't love raw onions or melons or cucumbers much. I don't love spiders of mosquitoes or cockroaches. I don't love the little gum balls that fall out of the trees in my yard because they are spiny and hurt to step on with bare feet.

But I recognize that each of the things in the world have a place. I recognize that there is a bigger picture other than what I like or want. I know mosquitoes help feed bats. I know those spiny gumballs grow big trees that supply oxygen to the world. I know that some people actually LIKE cucumbers and melon - and that's okay with me!

I don't think about the things I don't love much. But I do spend a lot of time thinking about the things I do love. And under no circumstances do the things that I don't love in this world make me want to hurt someone or something. There has never been an occasion I wanted to kill someone because they thought differently than me. Maybe I have been frustrated by our conversation or differences. But I never want to cause harm or pain. We have enough of that.

I don't know what the answers are right now. But I can't help but think that focusing more on what we love and have in common would be a good place to start.

So let's start here. With Love. Big, colorful, standout, proud love.

Precipice

We are on the precipice of something big. Standing on a cliff, ready to fall into the gusty winds.

Change is headed our way - with or without me being prepared. It's coming regardless of whether we are all perfectly ready and in balance for it's arrival. Change is on my doorstep, whether I want it to or not.

High school looms on the horizon now and I can't believe it's here. I can't believe the time ticks away so fast or that the little boy who held my hand as we crossed the street to go to preschool is now taller than me and taking on this world little by little... one day at a time.

I guess that's how it all really happens, too. Day by day. Minute by minute. Without us even knowing. Until one day - one scary, big, confusing day - they walk across that stage to receive a little 8th grade diploma and stretch their wings as they stand on the edge of that cliff.

And I will whisper into the sky (just low enough for only him to hear), "Not yet peanut...not just yet. I still need to teach you to fly."

Changing Tides

Often when the tides are changing, things can get a little tricky.

On the surface things can look smooth and easy, like the world is just floating along as it should be. But those undercurrents can be tricky. They sweep you away faster than you'd like, down paths you didn't think you wanted to go. So you spend your time paddling, treading water...forever trying not to get sucked under.

But sometimes that current sweeps you exactly in the direction you want to float. And instead of paddling and fighting, you simply need to float in the direction it's all taking you. Wistfully and blissfully... not fighting a thing.

That current can be confusing though. The very nature of getting swept away – even if it's in the right direction – can lead you to want to fight. When all you are used to doing is fighting a current, you can't help the feeling. You are always prepared for the fight.

Trust. Let go. Have faith that you will end up where you need to be doing exactly what you were meant to be doing.

Summer Daze.

I am in a summer daze. A hazy, lazy summer daze. I can't shake it off. And I really don't want to. I want these lingering days to last forever. Beach picnics at sunset and surfing into the dark hours of the day. I want to stay inside these in between days of spring and summer where the sun is shining and the breeze is cool and all I do is buck the Rules of Life.

It's here I want to lay my head and rest a while. I want to float around and get comfortably lazy with our schedules and Lists of Things To Do. I want to smile into the setting sun and thank her for yet another glorious day of life and give gratitude for the things that make the rest of it a little more palatable.

So here I will stay for a while with arms outstretched into the blue skies, laughing into the ocean winds again. Here is where I will be until the Summer turns her prickly heat on me once again.