This weekend, I had another birthday. It was simple, sweet and perfect to quietly ring in another year while I let go of the past once again with a long deep, breath as I blew out all my candles.
I am another year older and wiser. I don't mind getting a little older...really. I just have realized I don't want this life to be wasted anymore. I am becoming acutely aware of the limited time we have in this planet and while I am here, I want to live my moments with purpose and passion. I want to be loved and feel love. I want my life to have direction - even during those lazy hours lying in my comfortable bed or pointless walks on the beach back and forth to nowhere in particular. The time I want to stop wasting time is the time I spend cozied up with worry and fret and the fear of not measuring up to a standard I think only I put there to mark myself against in the first place.
I have learned a few things. Mostly, I have learned that I am still learning...a lot. And I have learned that unlearning things you deeply believed is probably the hardest part. But everyday I show up. Somedays it looks a lot tidier that others. But I try to make myself better all the time. I try to address those fears and march on a little taller and prouder. Every day, a little stronger.
So today, a few short days into my next year, I started to live once again. I faced fears and wasted time today. I learned again in yet another life lesson that I have much left to learn. I saw myself breaking an old habit while learning I needed to let go of another one. I loved today and was loved today. I was grateful for the simple things. Mostly I learned - like I do every day - to love myself where I am.
I am here today and now. And I am ready to face the rest of it all, regardless of whether the wind is in my face or at my back gentle pushing me along.
Happy Birthday to me!