When I started off on my own path, I looked for the clearly lines of a well worn trail in front of me. I think we are trained to believe this is the way of The Game of Life from the time we are teeny, impressionable, normalcy-seeking children looking for clear rules and a well-defined path. So early on, I always wanted to be lead directly to my Destination, marked with descriptive signs and no indication of any messy undergrowth. The signs would say "GO THIS WAY" making sure I didn't miss anything important to The Game along the way - husband, 2.5 kids, mortgage, cars and a white picket fence.
Apparently, I don't like to play by the rules.
So, with no certain path, I jumped tracks and found nothing but blurry lines. The one where I wasn't 100% sure where I would end up. It's scary some days. And I am never sure what I am truly doing. But what I have come to find out is that I love that I have the power to rewrite the ending every single day no matter what those Rule Makers had in mind for me in the beginning.
The thing is, I really don't think any of the lines are clearly defined in life after all. Sure some paths are marked a little better than others, but there are always obstacles and challenges along the way. There are twists and turns and uphill climbs and treacherous downhill slopes. There are also easy, flat paths to cruise calmly along. But things change and don't always go as planned. Life requires us to compromise a little and learn how to lean into the discomfort. Most of life is a big, blurry, messy pile.
So I will keep marching along this path - blurred lines and all. And be delighted at the things I pick up along the way, focusing in on them long enough to appreciate where we are in the present since that's the only real thing I can see anyhow.