365
Summer is on the way. She is whispering to us in the first blooms of the season. She is calling gently through her longer, lingering days. She is beckoning us with raising temperatures and promises of beaches and sand and salty, sun bleached hair.
Oh summer, you are coming back again....with your bounty and blooms and sun-kissed cheeks and everything that is good about you. I can hardly wait to float around in your wake right now.
Hurry up summer. We are waiting.
Let the wind carry you away. Let it move through you. Let it move the dust and move the debris you are carrying. Let it mess everything up. Let it blow up your skirt and mess up your hair.
Let it uncover you. Let it expose those parts of you that felt uncomfortable and scary. Just so you can really see those parts you were hiding from all along.
The winds of change are coming. Blowing in from a new direction and bringing with it the waters to wash away the dust and debris that remains. Don't be afraid, friend. Embrace it - the wind, the rain, the dark times. The storm can be a bumpy ride. But in the end, the sunshine will come out and shine it's magical light in all the places that were once covered up and waiting to be found again.
Charleston is full of gorgeous, well-maintained, overflowing, colorful window boxes. They dress the city in picture perfect color and texture, leaving the viewer to only imagine what's on the inside - a plentiful life filled with joy, warm meals, and loving hearts.
But as we all know, sometimes what's on the outside does not always reflect what is on the inside. We package ourselves neatly up to the world because the world doesn't always want to hear the ugly truth. We dress up all fancy - jewels and all - showing the world that the outside is what really counts. That way, meandering passers-by can feel good as they fantasize about our imaginary, perfectly curated lives that we present.
I have found that people don't always want to hear the big stuff. "How are you?" usually means "Tell me you are fine and we can both get on with our lives." But sometimes we want to show our real selves to the world - the scars and the pain we lug around every day are real and big. The battle we are fighting is huge. It's okay to need help with that. It's okay to look for solidarity in the eyes of a neighbor, a friend or a passer-by. Chances are they are just waiting to share their struggles too.
While I think some occasions call for keeping your cards close to you (the whole world doesn't always have to know your dirty laundry), I also think it's okay to share your pain on some levels. Because in that vulnerable, confusing space, we may just find the comfort of accepting ourselves just as we are - with or without that window dressing.
I have often talked about the joys of my simple attempts at starting a garden. They go far beyond nutrition and digging in the dirt. They seem almost spiritual and tie my love of all things food and farms into my own little homegrown version of gratitude. Each moment around my little raised bed yields some peace in my heart. And I have been aware for most of my life that I wanted some form of massive garden and to work with my hand in the dirt. I was always messy. I was always wandering around my friend's back yard gardens. But lately, the pull has been much greater.
When I harvest my little pea crop from the vines elegantly curling and reaching up to the sky, I am always reminded at the joy of simply growing something you can eat every day right in your own backyard. With pretty minimal effort and not much time, I am yielding a handful of peas to enhance our humble home cooked meals. This is my first experience with peas, but I already know these little green guys are going to be put into a regular crop rotation. These peas are full and plump and as sweet as the sunshine that helped them grow. They taste like Mother Nature's candy. And the reward of picking them straight from the vine in my yard is beyond measure for me.
So for now, I will plan on my next crop of peas or carrots or beets or Spinach. I will work with a bigger plan to expand what I am currently growing in my humble backyard raised bed. Maybe I'll even plan on a few chickens to wander around back here. whatever the path, I am excited to get my hands dirty again doing it all. And I am happy to find a little inner peace through peas.
Just two 12 year old boys, doing 12 year old boy things.
I think we put a lot of pressure on kids these days. It seems to come from all directions too. There is pressure to get good grades, be great athletes, have loads of interests beyond the ordinary kids things, and be responsibly on their path to adulthood. It seems like we expect a great deal from them and leave little wiggle room for error from these learning, growing bodies and minds. They are expected to know so much at the young age of 12 and be able to self-regulate more than I ever remember doing at that age.
I have a very easy going boy who hasn't been hard to parent over these past 12 years. He hasn't needed much punishment. He follows most rules (I mean...he's 12...so, we are bound to break a few). And for the most part, he does what he is supposed to do.
When he has a misstep, I usually become overly frustrated with him. It's so out of character that I tend to probably react beyond what I should. I think this is in part to his easy nature coupled with the fact that he is physically larger than most children his age (he looks me eye to eye now and we haven't even started the real growing yet). I am always quick to assume he is beyond his years because of this, and as a result, typically forget in the moment that he is, after all, still just 12.
Twelve is a precarious age. His body is growing faster that you can say "GROWTH SPURT." But his mind is often still stuck in that little boy age - the age of nerf wars and yu-gi-oh card games. This age is a walking contradiction. The moodiness and boundary pushing are all part of the net result of the contrast between their growing bodies and their still underdeveloped little minds. Sure, hormones play a role in this, but I think this contrast and internal struggle are as much to blame for those epic moods I have been seeing these days.
While I am so excited to see what the world has to offer Graham and what Graham has to offer the world, I really still enjoy these moments that he is just a regular, ordinary, twelve year old boy - playing video games, making little inventions and having nerf wars with his buddies in the neighborhood. I treasure this sweet time with him and never take these small moments for granted. There is a whole lifetime ahead of him to meet deadlines and worry about the future that I am happy to take that burden away from him for a little while. Don't get me wrong...I still am helping him become a responsible person - we meet school deadlines and requirements, have a black belt in karate and chores he tends to around the house. I just think for a while that he needs to just be here in this space.
The well-worn, tree-lined path of McLeod Plantation.
Sometimes the path is clear and open, lined with lovely oaks, dappled with clear sunshine leading to a clear destination on the other end. Other times the path you come across is overgrown and unclear. The uncharted territory ahead can make you confused and question whether or not you should follow that well traveled, worn path that so many have taken before you. Do they know something you don't? Or do they like knowing the outcome?
Me...well, I have always seemed to hike through the overgrown brush. I must like a good challenge. The outcome is never guaranteed and the direction can be confusing at times, but in the end I believe the destination and views will be well worth the effort. And even though all the other followers know where they are ending - somewhere safe, warm and dry - doesn't mean their ending will be any more gratifying or their views any more clear than where I find myself in the end.
So I will forge ahead - doing what I want and marching to my own drum. Because if nothing more, the small discoveries I make along the way will be worth all that hard work.
Many things in life are hard work. Blooming where you are planted takes effort and energy. It takes the proper balance of elements to thrive, yielding the gifts you were placed here to give. Gentle care balanced carefully with hard work give up the fruits of your labor to share with the world.
What we forget easily is this: just because we plant ourselves somewhere doesn't mean we will grow strong and bare fruit in that spot. We need to be careful to pick out the appropriate balance of light, water and care. We need to look closely at the soil we are given and the climate in which we are planted. We need to examine the care and the strength it will take. And we can't just expect to grow with no solid foundation.
If you have ever had a garden, you know all plants fruit in their own time. Some do it quickly while others take great care and time in yielding a crop. Just because the tomato is ripe doesn't mean your peas will be ready too. Everything blossoms in it's own time.
One of my favorite expressions has always been "Grow where you are planted." But after spending some time thinking about this, I really think we need more than that. We need the proper elements to make it happen so we don't wither and die before getting the chance to bare the fruits of our labor to the world. And we need patience to grow as we need to....on our terms.
"...you never really stop missing someone – you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence." Alyson Noel
Every day, I think of them. But today, especially. Today I celebrate their presence in my life.
It's admittedly been a few months since I have flexed my wedding photography muscles. I have been busy with loads of families and commercial work - as well as some design that I also do. But yesterday, I dove headfirst into the wedding waters again. And what luck! A beautiful day with an adorable couple and the most simple wedding I have ever had the pleasure of shooting.
Congratulations to Ben and Janea! I am so happy I got to be a part of this day with you! I wish you many many years of a happy marriage and a long life filled with love and joy and - most of all - peace.
The twisted and turning branches of the live oaks form a canopy like no other. Their arms gracefully shield us from the elements of life - protecting us from anything too harsh to see and encasing us in their webbed safety net like a flock of mother hens.
I want to stay here forever under the strong arms of Mother Nature. I want to linger in her cocoon of love and protection. I want to be guarded by her stature against the odds of life. I want to lay safe with her and rest happy, knowing she can keep out the bigger problems surrounding our souls.
After The Storm
Mumford and Sons
And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.
Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.
And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.
There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.
And I won't die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.
Some days I want to jump in and swim to the other side. Float into the land of glee and ease where the clouds are made of cotton candy and the stars twinkle like diamonds in the night sky.
In my mind, the other side is cool and sunny with soft grass beneath your feet. It's filled with music and laughter, with the right amounts of everything. The other side has just enough of everything, but never too much of anything.
On the other side there is no pain or hurt. There is no anger. No frustrations. On the other side, there is only love.
There is only love.
Let love guide you.
Let it guide every decision you make and every breath you take. Let it wash over you in a way that water does for your thirsty soul. Let it enter every breath you take and every move that happens each day.
Let love show you the way out of the darkness and into the light. Let it show you all the good and all the bad parts of life, even when you aren't ready to see them. Let love shine out of your face and seep from your pores.
Let love be the answer. To everything.
My family from yesterday's shoot. Could they be any more gorgeous?
I always go into shoots not really knowing what to expect. Every shoot is a little different. Maybe I have never met any of the family. Or maybe I know them all too well. But there is never an air of predictability about a shoot. There is always an air of uncertainty.
I actually like it this way. If I go in assuming something is going to be a certain way, I usually am caught off guard or disappointed. But when I can't predict it, I am almost more relaxed. I have a "whatever may come" attitude and approach which I think, in turn, puts everyone more at ease. There are no time constraints, no limits, no preconceived ideas about the day. Which usually makes everyone ease into their spots, becoming casually who they are....without even trying or knowing they are doing it.
Each week, my share from Compost in my Shoe comes and I am always floored. The beauty. The care. The love that goes into these plants... it's remarkable. I have talked tirelessly about it recently. Shamelessly and tirelessly.
While I am a huge advocate from getting your food locally from people you know, I am also a huge advocate for growing your own stuff. This is not only good for you, it's good for the planet too! Pretty much everybody wins.
This is part of the share from this week. It smells DIVINE. I pull off this stock of herbs all week - putting them on fresh fish, in veggies, and in salad dressings. What doesn't get used up there gets tossed in a pot and turned into fresh juice or stock - vegetable or chicken. It turns into something we can use later. But it never, ever gets wasted.
I can't stress enough how happy I am that this is part of our life : fresh food, straight from the earth. If we get it from someone or if we get it from our yard. It's homegrown...with love...with purpose...with a mission.
He's back.
Gone for 5 days and what felt like an eternity on a school trip to Washington D.C., my little man is back - safe and sound. Sleeping well and just as ornery and surly as he ever was.
I wouldn't trade it for the world. The sass. The drama. The tween attitude. I really wouldn't. I am so happy for all of it here at home...sleeping soundly in bed with heavy covers over him and a battle of the wills from the moment he wakes up these days. He is safe. And he is home. And he is with me. And I couldn't ask for more.
You see, just before this trip, Graham lost a classmate unexpectedly. She was only 13 years old - far too soon to be gone. Far too soon for her parents to bury her in the ground already. We are all mourning this loss and her absence. It is a tragedy I cannot even imagine...a parent's worst nightmare altogether.
So when I say I don't mind the sass and the drama - I am not kidding. I am thinking of Lucy - her parents and her family and her classmates. I don't care about laundry or stinky feet or someone climbing in bed with me at 3 AM because they don't feel good. I don't care about the hardships that come with tweens or the struggles ahead with teenage drinking or bad grades or whatever our story may be. I don't really care about anything but this foot in my bed - safe, happy, loved, here.
So I am glad. He is back. He is here with us today. And that is something I will never take for granted.
I have been missing a little of the light lately. I am busy at my desk with too much to do and not enough time to do it.
I have been feeling depleted. Too many things have been pulling at me and I haven't had the will to work them all out. I feel the need to put the brakes on and stop everything. I feel the need to take care of me.
Sometimes, though, moments like this happen. Even when you are in a hurry running from appointment to commitment, life pulls you in and begs you to stop and stare. I really almost don't remember taking this photo, but I am glad I did. Because every time I see it as I have scrolled through the photos on my phone this week, I breathe a deep sigh of relief and become grateful for what is instead of what isn't.
Life is sweet and messy. Take a big bite. Frosting, sprinkles and all. Get the crumbs everywhere. Wash it down with milk and stop worrying about depriving yourself of yet more delicious treats. Just jump in and savor the sweetness.
"You must scatter the seeds. Love the seeds. Have complete faith in the seeds. Only then, will they become all that you hope for." Unknown
