Women's Day

I was remiss at mentioning Mother’s Day on all the usual outlets. I didn’t reach out and wish friends a happy Mother’s Day. And I didn’t write about it or even acknowledge it at all. I am not sure why…I wasn’t sad or depressed or introspective about it. I just…was.

For me, Mother’s Day isn’t a really big deal. I never got into the whole “Hallmark Holiday” thing. Don’t get me wrong…I am happy to be celebrated, but I don’t need a whole ticker tape parade for it. Just some quiet time and maybe a little indulgence….some shopping…a pedicure…or a walk on the beach. Something to honor me and all of us for our incessant hard work.

But honestly, I sort of take issue with us celebrating moms only one day of the year. Because you know what - MOTHERS ARE EVERYTHING. I mean…every. effing. thing.

Mothers are strong and soft. Driven and easeful. They are the duality of all things - as soft as a down bed and as strong as 100 men. They are sage advice givers and tack-sharp fortune tellers. They know how to make cookies, do math homework, plan a meal, do laundry, nurse a baby, and arrange for babysitters so they can attend that work function – all at the same time. Simply put, they are the freaking operating transmission to the functioning world.

I don’t know if it took being a mom to understand what moms do, but friends - it’s a spectacular sight. Women are so amazing. Even my mother, who was imperfect in her way, was the strongest most resilient woman I know.

In the beginning of my lifelong quest of self-exploration and examination, I was initially hurt and frustrated by my Mother’s imperfections. But as I zoomed back and took in more of the picture - the part of her story that wasn’t just about me, but the image of the whole person she was - I sort of marvel at how far she came on her own and how strong she was for us. It was in my darkest moments that my mother took over for me – equal parts comforting and commanding – like a mother goose protecting her little chicks not just ready yet for flight on their own. She was broken, but still had the energy to care for me. Like we ALL do.

It’s amazing when you lean in and really witness to what women do. I am not talking about the perfect image of some cookie cutter June Cleaver-esque mom - there for her husband, food on the table, kids groomed and life running great. But still, that’s effing amazing too. I am talking about the women who struggle to work 3 jobs so they can get their kids out of a life situation they have no control over. I am talking about single moms who have to be everything and everywhere to everyone. I am talking about the foster mom of 6 who sacrifices and fights for those that have less than zero starting out. These are the heroes. They are the ones we need to celebrate. Everyday. Not JUST on Mother’s Day.

So if you are a mom - or really, a woman - hear me out. YOU ARE AWE-INSPIRING. You are strong. You are smart. You are loved. And I see you.

Happy Woman’s World, friends. Keep kicking ass.

The Messiness of Motherhood

In my experience, there is no other way to be a mother than to get down in the muddy pit of it all. Roll around in it. Get it all over you. You wear it - in your hair, on your clothes, on your breath - like a badge of sleep-deprived, showerless pride. 

There is no tiptoeing in the shallow end of the pool of motherhood. From day 1, being a mom is like being blasted from a cannon into the middle of icy waters with no life preserver. And there is no other way to make it to the other side other than swim like hell and hope to stay afloat.  Each day brings it's challenges. Each day you only hope to make it through.  But every day is an epic battle that you may or may not have won. 

Somewhere in navigating the mess – the tears, the smiles, the hardships, the joy, the pain, the worry and the love – it all comes together. We all somehow make it through to the other side. Perhaps we are a little more battered and bruised, but our hearts grow bigger and fuller each day with a love we could never imagine before this wild ride.

Motherhood is gritty. And hard. And confusing. From what I can see of this track, it's a wild, messy and scary ride to the bitter end. So hold on tight and buckle up. And enjoy the feeling of your stomach flipping from your feet to you throat over and over again. It's one wild ride.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mommas I know out there. The ones who made me and the ones who raised me!

(NOTE - this post was conveniently and not ironically forgotten about during Mother's Day weekend and a particularly busy week! Ooooops)