poetic

Sliver

  This was a test shot as I was walking out the door a few days ago. I almost threw it away. But look at the magic it created.

This was a test shot as I was walking out the door a few days ago. I almost threw it away. But look at the magic it created.

Sometimes, all it takes to grow is that sliver of light you let shine into your heart. Day by day, week by week, the light gets in and makes real change that can only be witnessed with patience and time and perseverance.

The gentle sliver warms the space it needs to and suddenly you are new again.  Thriving. Growing. Stretching towards that accidental slice of golden light. 

And before you know it, you are growing. And changing. And ready to be transplanted into a new place full of sunshine and light and delicious space.

And all it took was a sliver of light to get you through.

Winds of Change

storms

The winds of change are coming. Blowing in from a new direction and bringing with it the waters to wash away the dust and debris that remains. Don't be afraid, friend. Embrace it - the wind, the rain, the dark times. The storm can be a bumpy ride. But in the end, the sunshine will come out and shine it's magical light in all the places that were once covered up and waiting to be found again.

After the Storm

showers

After The Storm
Mumford and Sons
 

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

And I won't die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

There is only love.

puddles

Some days I want to jump in and swim to the other side. Float into the land of glee and ease where the clouds are made of cotton candy and the stars twinkle like diamonds in the night sky.

In my mind, the other side is cool and sunny with soft grass beneath your feet. It's filled with music and laughter, with the right amounts of everything. The other side has just enough of everything, but never too much of anything.

On the other side there is no pain or hurt. There is no anger. No frustrations. On the other side, there is only love.

There is only love.

 

Love After Love

IMG_9099.JPG

LOVE AFTER LOVE
by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

look...and see.

sunset

Mysteries, Yes

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the
mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity,
while we ourselves dream of rising.

How two hands touch and the bonds
will never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.

Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say
"Look!" and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.

—Mary Oliver

 

Before the frost

carrots

It's time to harvest and gather. Time to reap what we sow. It's time to duck from the hardships and collect what we need. Preparing for the frosts is never easy. But we do what we can and learn a little more every time.

It's time to hunker down and prepare for the hard freeze ahead. It's time to do the hard work. The real work. The dirty work.

 

Take care.

  Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Morning rituals - fresh juice and avocado toast on Ezekiel bread. Sunday bacon for the win.

Take care of yourself. Kindly and with purpose. Gently over breakfast, or fiercely over your morning sweat. Take time for rest. Spend moments on yourself. Eat. Sleep. Play. Work. Find some spiritual center - in God, or on the beach, or a under a leaf. Find a place that you feel really small. Find a place that you feel really big. They are both really important to finding the balance we all strive for.

Just take the time to take the care of you that you deserve. You are worth it.

Sunset

sunset.jpg

"Clouds come floating into my life - no longer to carry rain or usher storm - but to add color to my sunset sky." R.Tagore

I have been on the slippery slope of sickness today - sliding down it's icy face with no hope. Despite being on a rapid decline downward, I watched the sunset from my dining room this evening and thought about good things - love and hope and family and sunsets. And I somehow let the sun take away all the sickness and pain and bad thoughts away - slipping into the darkness never to be seen again.

Thank you Sun. Until we meet again...

The Intern

So... my son has to do an internship for a week with his school. They have to show up at a real-life job and do real-life job things. Today was my little guy's first day on the job as photographer's assistant. And since we couldn't find other friends/family/suckers to take him, I am the boss.

Here he is...Day 1. Reporting for duty!  "Seriously dude. Wake up already. Its 8:00 AM and I have accomplished about 40 things already."

I kid...this is what my intern really looked like today:

Just a few hours in and he was editing photos in a program he had never used before. He mastered that software like he'd been doing it all his life - LIKE A BOSS. What's even more awesome is that he is a perfectionist (Mom...that's not in focus! *sigh*) and a good worker! I am super proud of him today.

Tomorrow, we have an exciting shoot and some additional fun things on the books for the rest of the week. So I am looking forward to a fun and fruitful week with my main man.

Stay tuned for more adventures this week in interning.

 

Below my Feet


"And now I sleep.
Sleep the hours that I can't weep.
When all I knew was steeped in blackened holes.
I was lost.

Keep the earth below my feet.
For all my sweat, my blood runs weak.
Let me learn from where I have been.
Keep my eyes to serve my hands to learn.
Keep my eyes to serve my hands to learn."

Below My Feet, Mumford & Sons.

Sweet Sips of Summer


Finishing off summer with a sweet goodbye is something I need to get into the practice of a little more often. By this time of year, I am usually drowning in the shift of seasons - back to school alarms combined with the humidity of September is enough to make me want to quit life and move to cooler pastures with crunchy leaves, sweatshirts and fireplaces ablaze all day. I quickly forget summer's bounty she promises to me in May, with bursting vegetable gardens full of color and warm water you can float away the days in until you are pruned, waterlogged and pink and ripe as a juicy watermelon.

This year, I am trying to see summer for all it's colorful, sweet gifts and be grateful for the time we spent together. I am trying to lean into these last few tough days as I wait eagerly for Fall and her gloriously cooler weather celebrated with long evenings by backyard fire pits.

For now, I plan on getting as much of Summer as I can. Watch a few more sunset. Take in a few more summer storms rolling in from the west. And get a few more grains of sand stuck between my toes. For now, I will suck out these last little sweet sips of summer through a straw - and linger with it just a little bit longer.

Blurred Lines.

When I started off on my own path, I looked for the clearly lines of a well worn trail in front of me. I think we are trained to believe this is the way of The Game of Life from the time we are teeny, impressionable, normalcy-seeking children looking for clear rules and a well-defined path. So early on, I always wanted to be lead directly to my Destination, marked with descriptive signs and no indication of any messy undergrowth. The signs would say "GO THIS WAY" making sure I didn't miss anything important to The Game along the way - husband, 2.5 kids, mortgage, cars and a white picket fence.

Apparently, I don't like to play by the rules.

So, with no certain path, I jumped tracks and found nothing but blurry lines. The one where I wasn't 100% sure where I would end up. It's scary some days. And I am never sure what I am truly doing. But what I have come to find out is that I love that I have the power to rewrite the ending every single day no matter what those Rule Makers had in mind for me in the beginning.

The thing is, I really don't think any of the lines are clearly defined in life after all. Sure some paths are marked a little better than others, but there are always obstacles and challenges along the way. There are twists and turns and uphill climbs and treacherous downhill slopes. There are also easy, flat paths to cruise calmly along. But things change and don't always go as planned. Life requires us to compromise a little and learn how to lean into the discomfort. Most of life is a big, blurry, messy pile.

So I will keep marching along this path - blurred lines and all. And be delighted at the things I pick up along the way, focusing in on them long enough to appreciate where we are in the present since that's the only real thing I can see anyhow.